Something that is always a struggle for a performer/ dancer (in my case) is the issues of body image. I have been so lucky in my life to have never been in a situation where I needed to be stick skinny. If I was a ballet dancer, yes, I would have to slim WAY down, but there are many reasons why I am not a ballet dancer, and one is that I love the freedom of bodies in modern dance and I hate the cookie cutter body of a ballerina.
I have made it 24 years, almost to 25 with never having to worry about a diet or being told I am "too fat" from a choreographer, thank goodness. I work out on a daily bases and try to continue training, and because of that, I am usually able to eat anything i want (in proportion). I'll admit that I would slim down even more if I left out fried foods, coffees, ice cream and chips; but I love those things and since I don't consume them everyday (except for coffee), I figure why not indulge once in awhile. And really Paul does most of the cookie and none of it is that "unhealthy." The white rice should probably be changed to brown rice, but with Paul, that will never happen so I just eat a little less rice than he does. Really though, rice is the only carbohydrate we consume. We eat meat and veggies every night, not that unhealthy right?
A month or so ago I had my first nude photoshoot. I was actually planning to blog about it, but there was too much to tell and too little time to write about it. Ledges and Bones (the LA/SF company I dance for) had an amazing underwater nude photoshoot that I took part of. I have never wanted to perform nude, still don't, but the photoshoot was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Everyone in the company felt safe together and comfortable together and it was a brilliant environment to be apart of.
Holly, the artistic director of Ledges and Bones, has always supported everyone's bodies. Never have we needed to lose weight or worry about our image, until recently. A couple of ladies in the company have been fluctuating in body weight, enough to visually see, and because of that, we have all been asked to "Slim our bodies down and enhance our muscular structure." This request wasn't really given as an over time request but rather we have another photo/video shoot in a month and we better be looking our best.
I have had numerous conversations about this with co-workers, fellow dancers and Paul. All who really feel the same way as I do about the idea of "diets" and "weight loss." I think the hardest part of the whole thing is that over the summer when I was in really great shape, probably the best in my life, I was told my body structure was starting to look "manly" and I needed to stop working out as much. So I cut down yoga, pilates and weight lifting in half, and unfortunately my stomach isn't as buff, along with my arms, but I am more "flabby" then I was.
So I am now in a limbo of where do I go from here. Not only is the request to become more muscular hard enough to hear, but realizing that I am heading back to the great MidWest in less than 10 days really makes me nervous. Lets me honest, I have very little self control, and by very little I mean NO self control. I love food and frankly I honestly feel very confident in my body. Its hard to try to change my body when I am not feeling great about it, but its even harder to change it when I am feeling pretty good in my body.
Therefore, I need to find motivation, focus and control to slim down and build muscles up. My co-worker Maureen suggested that I try the "5 small meals a day" diet, but whew that is gonna be hard for someone who really only eats 2 meals a day and a few coffee breaks in the middle :)
The other thing that she suggested was to partner up with friends in a food challenge. She has done diet like competitions with friends and family from all over to help encourage healthy eating, and a better "lifestyle." I need to get over the fact that I think diets tend to be bull shit before I can start, but I suppose tis the season.
Once I figure out the best way to slim down, I may be reaching out for support and team work to do it, any suggestions on how to proceed?
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Thankful
This Thanksgiving was a new experience for me, that's for sure. I was feeling down in the dumps since I was so far away from my family and not able to fly back to Chicago to be with them, but I was fortunate that I did not have to be alone on Thanksgiving.
After putting up the Christmas Tree, Gerti was ready to fly back to Chicago, she hadn't curled up in her carrier since last year, but look where I found her! We both wanted to be with the family so badly!
Wednesday night Paul and I made a yummy dinner together, spaghetti carbonara. It was a HUGE and filling meal but very good for our first time making it. I think we both would do some things differently next time but it was a good first attempt for sure. Then I made 2 batches of cookies, Ginger Molasses and Pumpkin and Paul did laundry. We finished the night catching up to Weeds. Anyone watching this season of weeds? Paul and I have mixed feelings about it but last weeks episode was a winner, finally!
Hungry boy ready to eat! (mind you he had almost a whole bag of pretzels and cheese sticks before dinner, so by the time dinner came, he wasn't that hungry! so bad!)
Our delicious dinner! So rich and filling, but excited to try it again!
Thursday morning we got up early and got ready for the day. Before leaving the house Paul and I were able to video chat with my family. This was the first time he met everyone but my mom so while it was virtual, it was still great! Of course seeing my family via computer isn't the same, but thank goodness for technology. It was amazing seeing everyone. My brother always makes me laugh, and my whole family puts a huge smile on my face. Paul did just fine meeting everyone too and I am so excited to actually bring him to my parents house in Chicago so he can meet people in person!
From there we drove south to the Peninsula, where Paul grew up. He was suppose to have a water polo tournament but long story short, it didn't happen. He took me to his old High School, drove around town and took back roads to Redwood City, where his papa lives. We stopped by the first Starbucks he worked at, and wondered around for awhile. It was really beautiful. The trees were changing colors and it felt like a version of small town home. I was so excited that I was actually clapping in the car! It was a lovely start to the day. I forget what hometowns are like. It was amazing to hear stories of where he use to go, what he use to do and where he grew up! I can't wait to show him not only Chicago but Iowa, whew will that be an experience for him!
We made it to his dads house and there we helped his step mom and sister bake while we watched the end of the parade and then the dog show. And really by "helped" we sat and watched and nibbled on the goodies! Paul showed me around the house, showed me pictures and told me stories. It was lovely.
From there his sister, Paul and I loaded into my car and heading back towards SF (right outside SF) where we had Thanksgiving dinner with his papa's family. It was the first time I ever met his two aunts on that side of the family and a few of his cousins. It was a pleasant evening and we sat at the dinner table for hours. Dinner was great, and we pretty traditional, except we had rice! Never have I had rice at Thanksgiving :) Paul showed me around his Abuelita's (his dads mom) house where he lived for awhile with his papa and sister when his parents were divorced. The evening ended by 9 and that was good because we ate so much we were exhausted! We went home, slept it off and prepared for Thanksgiving #2.
On Friday we went to his Abuela and Abuelo (his mom's parents) house in Fremont (a little suburb south east of SF). Now this side of the family speaks primarily Spanish when they are together and are much louder and livelier than his dad's side, but it was a blast. His mom's side of the family is very loving towards me and I couldn't have appreciated it more. Music was playing, people were dancing, 20 conversations were going on at once, lots of eating and drinking, we brought the dog so he was running around like crazy, games were being played, it was just a great evening. The food was filling and full of fat in the best way possible. We had a great night. The evening ended with Cuban espresso and coffee (yes I had a double shot of Cuban espresso and a cup of Cuban Coffee and still was exhausted...the food was just that good!) I was able to talk to his Grandparents for awhile too when we were drinking our coffee and it was great to get to know them even better. Both of them don't speak English very often so they were giving me pointers on how to start learning how to speak Spanish. But never was there judgment that I don't speak their language, I think they just appreciated knowing that I want to learn, and I really do!
The family has welcomed me in with open arms and although Paul and I have come from 2 very different backgrounds it was so nice to feel at home even though my home is so far away.
So this Thanksgiving I am thankful for (this is a short list out of many many things I could say):
1. A family who loves me so much that I can honestly feel them with me even though I am 3,000 miles away. My family is the greatest and I am so lucky to have their love and support through everything I do.
2. A boy who I am very much in love with. Who treats me like a queen and would never have dreamed of letting me spending Thanksgiving alone so opened his family up to me. He spoils me and cares for me more than I ever thought I would want to be cared for and I am amazed by all he is. He is an unexpected treasure to say the least!
3. My dream job. Who would have thought a gypsy dancer would find a dance job that "pays the bills" and I love so much! I Can't believe I was able to find this job so quickly outside of college, but it is made for me and I love it! And to top it off, I work with some of my best friends in SF! How lucky am I?
4. A beautiful cat who brightens each and everyday. I love coming home to her and knowing that she loves me unconditionally! She is one of the most amazing creatures and I can't believe my mom bought her for me a on a random August afternoon in San Francisco, but wouldn't be the same without her!
5. I am truly and utterly thankful that in 2 weeks I will be on an airplane (with Gerti) to Chicago to see my best friends and family. Wow have I missed them all and I can't wait to give everyone a giant hug and I know I will cherish each and every moment I get with them. While I will miss Paul so much that its kinda hard to think about, I cannot wait to be back in the Midwest, to see snow (I hope) and to be with the people who know me best!
I failed to take pictures of our Thanksgiving...so bad of me, I know. Next year? And believe me, I am sure I will take plenty of photos come Christmas!!
After putting up the Christmas Tree, Gerti was ready to fly back to Chicago, she hadn't curled up in her carrier since last year, but look where I found her! We both wanted to be with the family so badly! Wednesday night Paul and I made a yummy dinner together, spaghetti carbonara. It was a HUGE and filling meal but very good for our first time making it. I think we both would do some things differently next time but it was a good first attempt for sure. Then I made 2 batches of cookies, Ginger Molasses and Pumpkin and Paul did laundry. We finished the night catching up to Weeds. Anyone watching this season of weeds? Paul and I have mixed feelings about it but last weeks episode was a winner, finally!
Hungry boy ready to eat! (mind you he had almost a whole bag of pretzels and cheese sticks before dinner, so by the time dinner came, he wasn't that hungry! so bad!)
Our delicious dinner! So rich and filling, but excited to try it again! Thursday morning we got up early and got ready for the day. Before leaving the house Paul and I were able to video chat with my family. This was the first time he met everyone but my mom so while it was virtual, it was still great! Of course seeing my family via computer isn't the same, but thank goodness for technology. It was amazing seeing everyone. My brother always makes me laugh, and my whole family puts a huge smile on my face. Paul did just fine meeting everyone too and I am so excited to actually bring him to my parents house in Chicago so he can meet people in person!
From there we drove south to the Peninsula, where Paul grew up. He was suppose to have a water polo tournament but long story short, it didn't happen. He took me to his old High School, drove around town and took back roads to Redwood City, where his papa lives. We stopped by the first Starbucks he worked at, and wondered around for awhile. It was really beautiful. The trees were changing colors and it felt like a version of small town home. I was so excited that I was actually clapping in the car! It was a lovely start to the day. I forget what hometowns are like. It was amazing to hear stories of where he use to go, what he use to do and where he grew up! I can't wait to show him not only Chicago but Iowa, whew will that be an experience for him!
We made it to his dads house and there we helped his step mom and sister bake while we watched the end of the parade and then the dog show. And really by "helped" we sat and watched and nibbled on the goodies! Paul showed me around the house, showed me pictures and told me stories. It was lovely.
From there his sister, Paul and I loaded into my car and heading back towards SF (right outside SF) where we had Thanksgiving dinner with his papa's family. It was the first time I ever met his two aunts on that side of the family and a few of his cousins. It was a pleasant evening and we sat at the dinner table for hours. Dinner was great, and we pretty traditional, except we had rice! Never have I had rice at Thanksgiving :) Paul showed me around his Abuelita's (his dads mom) house where he lived for awhile with his papa and sister when his parents were divorced. The evening ended by 9 and that was good because we ate so much we were exhausted! We went home, slept it off and prepared for Thanksgiving #2.
On Friday we went to his Abuela and Abuelo (his mom's parents) house in Fremont (a little suburb south east of SF). Now this side of the family speaks primarily Spanish when they are together and are much louder and livelier than his dad's side, but it was a blast. His mom's side of the family is very loving towards me and I couldn't have appreciated it more. Music was playing, people were dancing, 20 conversations were going on at once, lots of eating and drinking, we brought the dog so he was running around like crazy, games were being played, it was just a great evening. The food was filling and full of fat in the best way possible. We had a great night. The evening ended with Cuban espresso and coffee (yes I had a double shot of Cuban espresso and a cup of Cuban Coffee and still was exhausted...the food was just that good!) I was able to talk to his Grandparents for awhile too when we were drinking our coffee and it was great to get to know them even better. Both of them don't speak English very often so they were giving me pointers on how to start learning how to speak Spanish. But never was there judgment that I don't speak their language, I think they just appreciated knowing that I want to learn, and I really do!
The family has welcomed me in with open arms and although Paul and I have come from 2 very different backgrounds it was so nice to feel at home even though my home is so far away.
So this Thanksgiving I am thankful for (this is a short list out of many many things I could say):
1. A family who loves me so much that I can honestly feel them with me even though I am 3,000 miles away. My family is the greatest and I am so lucky to have their love and support through everything I do.
2. A boy who I am very much in love with. Who treats me like a queen and would never have dreamed of letting me spending Thanksgiving alone so opened his family up to me. He spoils me and cares for me more than I ever thought I would want to be cared for and I am amazed by all he is. He is an unexpected treasure to say the least!
3. My dream job. Who would have thought a gypsy dancer would find a dance job that "pays the bills" and I love so much! I Can't believe I was able to find this job so quickly outside of college, but it is made for me and I love it! And to top it off, I work with some of my best friends in SF! How lucky am I?
4. A beautiful cat who brightens each and everyday. I love coming home to her and knowing that she loves me unconditionally! She is one of the most amazing creatures and I can't believe my mom bought her for me a on a random August afternoon in San Francisco, but wouldn't be the same without her!
5. I am truly and utterly thankful that in 2 weeks I will be on an airplane (with Gerti) to Chicago to see my best friends and family. Wow have I missed them all and I can't wait to give everyone a giant hug and I know I will cherish each and every moment I get with them. While I will miss Paul so much that its kinda hard to think about, I cannot wait to be back in the Midwest, to see snow (I hope) and to be with the people who know me best!
I failed to take pictures of our Thanksgiving...so bad of me, I know. Next year? And believe me, I am sure I will take plenty of photos come Christmas!!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
It's begining to look a lot like Christmas
Welcome to my Christmas filled Room!
It has been a hard day today, well a hard week for that matter. This year marks the very first year of my whole 24 years that I have not been with my family for Thanksgiving. Now in our family the Christmas tree goes up the day after Thanksgiving and yes, I do believe that is the best day, but as tears filled my eyes today I realized that I needed the Christmas tree.
Now no tree could ever substitute my family, but it does make me feel a little better. Yesterday I received a Thanksgiving care package from my amazing mom which brightened my day and really started the whole need. The care package was filled with her amazing caramel corn, party mix, Christmas decor, Holiday book and a few other goodies. It brought tears to my eyes and the first bite of the caramel corn made me think of home.
I spent most of the day today looking for that cheap day before plane ticket to go home. I mean, wouldn't that have been great, but those $650+ tickets kept appearing and I continued to get more sad. So the only solution I came up with... decorate!
I am now sitting here with my holiday candles lite, the tree sparkling and White Christmas on the TV. It makes me so excited to be in Chicago for Christmas for two weeks, but until then, I will just imagine I am sitting with my family.
Luckily I don't have to be alone for Thanksgiving, wouldn't that be even worse! No, this year I have the chance to experience a whole new Thanksgiving, Cuban style. And actually, I will have 2 days of Thanksgiving. Paul's family has so graciously invited me to join them for their Holiday and not only do they celebrate very different than my very white midwest family, but its the first time in a very very very long time that I have shared a holiday with a special someone. Since his parents are divorced they go back and forth each year on who gets them on the actual day of Thanksgiving. This year Thanksgiving lands on his dad which is kind of a bummer. He is not as close to his dad and I am far from close to his dad as we haven't had much of a chance to get to know each other. Who knows, maybe this will be the chance to bond with his "papa" as he calls him. His mom's Thanksgiving on Friday though is going to be a blast I am sure, her last letter to me said it would be "a very non traditional meal with lots of loud music, dancing and family." His mom and I have had the chance to get to know each other a little more, and she even has been able to get to know my mom in SF and in Chicago. I am very thrilled to be spending time with her. Paul's sister is also very wonderful, she just turned 21 and is so great. According to Paul and his mom, Erika (his sister) is hard to impress/please and her and I get along wonderfully, therefore I have a good in there :)
Anyway, I just wanted to share my Christmas set up this year. I wish so badly I could be cuddling up with my family watching Christmas Vacation, eating lots of food and putting up our family Christmas Tree but I hope that this year is the only year I wont be spending with them.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Random Questionnaire
No reason really, just in the mood to fill out a questionnaire :)
If you could change your first name, what would it be and why?
I love my name and think it suites me so I don’t think I would change it.
Which animal best represents you?
This is a lame answer, and I had to leave it and come back because I was hoping to find a better one. But I would say right now, I am like a kitty. I need others on time-to-time bases. Enjoy being comforted and loved but have loaner moments where I just want to be myself. And high-energy times where I just want to run jump and express myself. Maybe this isn’t like all cats but this is defiantly like my Gerti, haha maybe she is the way she is because I’m the way I am?! Whatever the case, we are similar for sure.
If you could live in any city, where would it be?
Rome, really any city in Italy, but I LOVED Rome. I would love to live in New Orleans as well but I think that is more vacation like.
Which appeals to you more: the beach or the mountains?
The Beach, even though the sun hates me. I do miss visiting the Colorado Mountains every year but much prefer living near water.
Which cartoon character do you most identify with?
I don’t really…but currently I’d say I have been identified a few times as Velma for Scooby Doo. When I wear my glasses and sweaters especially. The science part is not so much me but I could deal with being compared to her. A little geeky/nerdy/ know it all…not that far off
If someone made a movie about your life, which actor would portray you?
Umm I would love if Zooey Deschanel did!
Which color M&M’s candy do you reach for first?
Since I don’t eat M&M’s I will go with Skittles and I go for the purple first.
What was your favorite childhood game?
A and I use to play “Fun club” it was a club we made up and played in her basement. We would dress up, have fake names (I was always “Baby” from Dirty Dancing haha!) But we would make up dances and play “Fun Club” for hours! So much fun!
How many people in the room do you know their first name?
Haha I am at work, so I know everyone’s name.
Which game show annoys you the most?
I don’t really watch TV TV (just internet TV) so I actually don’t know what game shows there are, so I don’t get annoyed.
If you could have lunch with anyone, who would it be and what restaurant?
My mom at Azteca. I miss those days.
If someone did your portrait and had only one color to use, which color would it be?
Yellow or Orange Yellow. To those who can see aura, most usually say that those are my colors. Orange-Yellow: Creative, intelligent, detail oriented, perfectionist, scientific. YELLOW AURA COLOR: Relates to the spleen and life energy. It is the color of awakening, inspiration, intelligence and action shared, creative, playful, optimistic, easy-going.
What was the last movie you saw and why?
Paul and I watched “The Color Of Money” (it was the last movie that came on our netflix). It was such a Paul movie. The opening shot was of Pool, Whiskey, cigarettes and money! Right away we both laughed that the movie was made for him! I filled this out earlier, and tonight I watched "The September Issue," not too bad, I kinda liked it!
American Dreams. My mom and I would watch it together every week. And then when I went off to college I wouldn’t miss an episode and mom and I talked on the phone as soon as it was over! I LOVED that show, and it ended abruptly which was really sad. I have season 1 on DVD but can’t even find season 2 or 3 on DVD
What is the best compliment you have ever received?
There are two that I love & will always cherish. One came from my high school band teacher, Mr. A, it was after a production of West Side Story my freshman year, and Mr. A came up to me, hugged me and said that he “had never seen someone sparkle so much on stage and I was meant to perform.” I will never forget that moment.
The other is from Paul, it was really before I even knew him, might have even been one of the first conversations we ever had. Paul was working the register at Starbucks and when I approached the register he said so purely “ya know, you have the best smile I have ever seen, you make my day every time you walk in here.” That moment melted my heart and really was the start of it all. He said the other day that he remembers that day so clearly as well. I love it
If you were forced to sing karaoke, which song would it be?
I have a hard time believing I would be “forced” to sing karaoke, but I would probably sing “Don’t stop believing,” or “Proud Mary” haha I don’t know why but those two are the first that popped in my head! (Neither are really in my voice range…haha!)
What is the title of the last book you read?
Oh sad day, and embarrassing, as I haven’t read a book in over a month. I read “Snuff” in September…just picked up “Summer at Tiffany’s” it is good thus far.
When was the last time you said something negative about someone else?
Oh last night Paul and I had a little bit of a "bitch fest" about some things...haha...
Are you:
1. More like a Cadillac than a Volkswagen?
Volkswagen
2. More of a saver than a spender?
Spender
3. More like New York than Colorado?
New York
4. More yes than no?
Yes
5. More like a student or a teacher?
I would say both
6. More here or there?
A little of both
7. More religious than non-religious?
Non-religious
8. More like the present than the future?
Both, but more focused on present
9. More like a file cabinet than a liquor chest?
Hmm..not sure how to answer this one!
10. More intuitive than rational?
Yes I would say so…
11. More like a tortoise than a hare?
Defiantly more Hare
12. More like an electric typewriter than a quill pen?
Electric Typewriter, yes. Although I hand write notes to Paul every morning…its nice to write vs. type.
13. More like a gourmet restaurant than a McDonald's?
Maybe in the middle…A little Applebees?!
Monday, November 8, 2010
Meet Me On Monday (I just keep stealin Sarah's posts...thanks Sarah!)
Questions:
1. What is your favorite kind of pie?
2. Have you ever ran out of gas in the car you were driving?
3. How many languages do you speak?
4. Do you take daily vitamins?
5. What is your worst eating habit?
1. Key Lime & Pumpkin!
2. Knock on wood- no! I have come close to being there...but luckily grew up with a Grandfather who told me that when it got to a quarter tank you fill up! Thanks Grandpa!
3. English...wah wah...Since dating a Cuban, I am getting to the point where I want/need to start learning Spanish. Family gatherings aren't near as fun when you don't speak the language.
4. Nope...I should...but I drink Coffee which I learned in my nutrition class in college that if you take vitamins and drink coffee,the coffee just whips out the vitamins and does no good. I wont stop drinking the coffee so whats the point of taking the vitamins?
5. umm... I eat dinner too late...But the worse is that I will eat ice cream right before I go to sleep. Way bad, but oh so good! I also love potato chips, have cravings for taco bell, and love fried chicken! haha, basically most of my eating habits are bad.
1. What is your favorite kind of pie?
2. Have you ever ran out of gas in the car you were driving?
3. How many languages do you speak?
4. Do you take daily vitamins?
5. What is your worst eating habit?
1. Key Lime & Pumpkin!
2. Knock on wood- no! I have come close to being there...but luckily grew up with a Grandfather who told me that when it got to a quarter tank you fill up! Thanks Grandpa!
3. English...wah wah...Since dating a Cuban, I am getting to the point where I want/need to start learning Spanish. Family gatherings aren't near as fun when you don't speak the language.
4. Nope...I should...but I drink Coffee which I learned in my nutrition class in college that if you take vitamins and drink coffee,the coffee just whips out the vitamins and does no good. I wont stop drinking the coffee so whats the point of taking the vitamins?
5. umm... I eat dinner too late...But the worse is that I will eat ice cream right before I go to sleep. Way bad, but oh so good! I also love potato chips, have cravings for taco bell, and love fried chicken! haha, basically most of my eating habits are bad.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Worth Reading
I saw this today and it melted my heart, specially because anyone who knows me knows that when the time comes to have kids, I would love nothing more than a fabulous gay boy! Read this blog posted by a mother of a fabulous 5 year old boy. I am so tired of all the hate...I wish people would realize that if everyone was alike, the world would be much more boring. Just wanted to share the story with others. I am sure if ya'all are on facebook you will see this, but thought I would share it here as well.
http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay/
http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay/
Five Question Friday (posted by Sarah answered by me)
2. What's the best movie you've seen in the past month?
3. Do you have a mantra? A quote to live by? Or an overarching belief of what you strive to be?
4. What is your favorite guilty pleasure song?
5. What is your number one November goal?
1. Before moving to San Francisco, No. But since living here, yep I do. My first apartment in SF defiantly had ghost. The cat would run up and down the hall pushing her paws up against the wall as if she was trying to chase someone away. And the creepiest part of the whole thing. One night I was asleep on the couch and there was a knock on the door. It was the downstairs neighbors asking me if I could stop running around. Again, I was fast asleep, but downstairs she said it sounded like I was running up and down the hallway and tap dancing on in the kitchen! No one else was home, just me. So yep, I was living with ghosts, no doubt.
2. Inglorious Bastards, so so so good!
3. "Everything will be okay in the end, if its not okay, its not the end" AND "Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened"
4. Sarah you stole my answer :) I am totally in love with Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" when it comes on I stop whatever I am doing and sing along! It makes me super happy
5. Figure out Christmas gift/ make the gifts that I am going to make. Whew I have a lot of work a head of me!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Why its almost like being in love
Now I know that the California weather isn't quite like the good ol' mid-west and the four seasons seem to merge together a little more than the distinct changes back home, but after living here it is safe to say, we have entered fall like the rest of you back home.
Unfortunately for me, our palm tress don't change color and while leaves drop, most drop the same green color they were. But the air has a crispness to it and the smell of Fall. I love it. This weekend the rain started in though...which actually is the start to our winter...but the air still feels fall to me so I am not pushing winter quite yet! I love the way Fall makes me feel.
I love the desire to cuddle up, light candles and read a book (or in my case watch Monk almost all day!)
I love hot showers on cold rainy days
And I love the motivation I start to have for baking pumpkin treats, homemade soups and hot cranberry tea. And best part of that is sharing it with others!
This time of year makes me think of home more than any other time. The anticipation for the Holidays with my family, the new goals that will come with the new year just around the corner, the preparations for the perfect gifts and being with people I love.
At this point last year, my countdown to go home was much shorter as I was lucky enough to go home for Thanksgiving. As the years go on I had to expect that the privilege of going home 2 times in 2 months would leave, but the countdown still is on...less than TWO MONTHS and I will be with my family again for 2 weeks! I cannot wait.
Until I get to go home I get to look forward to:
Unfortunately for me, our palm tress don't change color and while leaves drop, most drop the same green color they were. But the air has a crispness to it and the smell of Fall. I love it. This weekend the rain started in though...which actually is the start to our winter...but the air still feels fall to me so I am not pushing winter quite yet! I love the way Fall makes me feel.
I love the desire to cuddle up, light candles and read a book (or in my case watch Monk almost all day!)
I love hot showers on cold rainy days
And I love the motivation I start to have for baking pumpkin treats, homemade soups and hot cranberry tea. And best part of that is sharing it with others!
This time of year makes me think of home more than any other time. The anticipation for the Holidays with my family, the new goals that will come with the new year just around the corner, the preparations for the perfect gifts and being with people I love.
At this point last year, my countdown to go home was much shorter as I was lucky enough to go home for Thanksgiving. As the years go on I had to expect that the privilege of going home 2 times in 2 months would leave, but the countdown still is on...less than TWO MONTHS and I will be with my family again for 2 weeks! I cannot wait.
Until I get to go home I get to look forward to:
- Making homemade Potato Soup (wont be as good as my moms or grandmas but Paul has never had potato soup so I look forward to sharing it with him)
- Making pumpkin pie
- Looking for new pumpkin treats to make (I am totally craving Pumpkin right now!)
- Making my list and shopping for Christmas gifts
- putting up my Christmas tree
- Watching Christmas Vacation..wont be the same without repeating it all with my family
- listening to Christmas music (that came out weeks ago!)
- AND sharing my first Thanksgiving with Paul and his family...a Latin Thanksgiving...wish me luck and I am nervous as can be.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Friday Favorite
Thanks Sarah for the advice to do a weekly blog that I just always can do. I am sitting at work and randomly started thinking about some of my favorite things and decided to do a weekly "Friday Favorite" blog. Today's is easy as I am wishing I was doing it right now.
My favorite thing to do on a chilly rainy day.
I woke up this morning to the sound of rain dropping and cuddled up close to Paul (and by this morning I mean 5am as he had to get up for work...boo) and was so cozy warm next to Paul I didn't want him to leave, I was thinking, "this is perfect." But now sitting at work and cold from being wet and tired cause the rain is slowing me down I wish I could do my favorite thing on a rainy day...
If I wasn't a "grown up" with a real job, I would stay in my sweat pants (oversized and cozy of course) a big sweatshirt, cozy fuzy socks and my stalking hat (have to be warm!) I would have a hot coffee drink in hands, lite candles, and just watch movies in bed. I would order take out and just stay inside for the day. Of course in this perfect rainy day a LONG, HOT shower is in order too. I would be cuddled up with my kitty and my boyfriend and his dog and we would be lazy foolies all day listening to the rain and watching movie after movie. Knowing Paul and I too, I would be doing Sudoku through out the day and he would be working on his crossword puzzle helping each other out here and there.
Sounds like a good rainy day huh?
My favorite thing to do on a chilly rainy day.
I woke up this morning to the sound of rain dropping and cuddled up close to Paul (and by this morning I mean 5am as he had to get up for work...boo) and was so cozy warm next to Paul I didn't want him to leave, I was thinking, "this is perfect." But now sitting at work and cold from being wet and tired cause the rain is slowing me down I wish I could do my favorite thing on a rainy day...
If I wasn't a "grown up" with a real job, I would stay in my sweat pants (oversized and cozy of course) a big sweatshirt, cozy fuzy socks and my stalking hat (have to be warm!) I would have a hot coffee drink in hands, lite candles, and just watch movies in bed. I would order take out and just stay inside for the day. Of course in this perfect rainy day a LONG, HOT shower is in order too. I would be cuddled up with my kitty and my boyfriend and his dog and we would be lazy foolies all day listening to the rain and watching movie after movie. Knowing Paul and I too, I would be doing Sudoku through out the day and he would be working on his crossword puzzle helping each other out here and there.
Sounds like a good rainy day huh?
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Go SF Giants!!
Not in a million years did I expect to get hooked on the SF Giants baseball team. I mean, really? I lived in Chicago with 2 baseball teams and I don't have a clue about either team, but move to SF and start dating a baseball fanatic and you too will become obsessed. The Giants are an interesting to team though, and they make it easy to get hooked. Unlike the Yankees, the Giants are not constant winners. They are kinda like a bi-polar baseball team. You have a great game one night and the next night you are making mistakes left and right. For instance, Sunday night we loss...big time, and I hate to say this but we loss for good reason, imagine a batter hitting a fly ball, then imagine 3 Giants player running to catch that fly ball, then imagine all 3 Giants standing in a triangle and the ball goes right in the middle with not one of them actually trying to catch the ball! yes, on nights like that, we deserve to lose. But then you take last nights game and it gets me so excited! I suppose this season is a good season to become a Giants fan since they are in the playoffs and if we win tonight, fingers crossed, we go on to the world series! Maybe they are doing so well because I became a fan ;)
AT&T Park- where the Giants play
Paul and his whole family are die hard fans. The bug was easy to catch since him nor his family miss a game. I suppose its their family bonding, maybe comparable to my family and theater? Paul is becoming pretty superstitious though. Now that the Giants are going so far and doing so well he is participating in the "Fear the Beard" challenge. His favorite player, Brian Wilson, is the closing pitcher. Wilson is pretty amazing, we have watched interviews with him and he is super corky and odd but hilarious and one of the most talented pitchers! He closes the game because his pitches are fast and furious and RARELY do men score off his throws, in fact it is a rare occasion when one even gets a hit. The ninth innings are usually pretty fast on our end because of him! "Fear the Beard" though is for Wilson. He has a crazy huge bread, which is dyed black and pretty ridiculous, like him, so those die hard Wilson fans are not shaving their beard till the Giants are done. Therefore, Paul is participating, boy is he participing, his beard is getting crazy thick (and itchy he claims) but he refuses to shave it, not even the "neck beard" that is growing, his exact words "if I shave at all they could lose, so neck and itchy beard are getting touched!"
I can't seem to find a good picture of Wilson's current beard but go to this link and you can see it: http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=5709384
If you want to get a sense of his strangeness, watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yf0j1rmZVbM
Wilson and Posey (Paul's favorite and My favorite)
Now my favorite player is #28 Buster Posey. My attraction to Posey may have started with the fact that his number is 28 but my love for him has expanded. He is one of the youngest players (23), an amazing catcher and one of the BEST batters on the team. He rarely disappoints and I appreciate the consistency of him. I mean the team fluctuates enough so knowing that Posey is pretty darn consistent I can relax every 8th batter and when he is behind the plate catching those balls!
Good ol' Buster hitting it out of the park :)
AT&T Park- where the Giants playPaul and his whole family are die hard fans. The bug was easy to catch since him nor his family miss a game. I suppose its their family bonding, maybe comparable to my family and theater? Paul is becoming pretty superstitious though. Now that the Giants are going so far and doing so well he is participating in the "Fear the Beard" challenge. His favorite player, Brian Wilson, is the closing pitcher. Wilson is pretty amazing, we have watched interviews with him and he is super corky and odd but hilarious and one of the most talented pitchers! He closes the game because his pitches are fast and furious and RARELY do men score off his throws, in fact it is a rare occasion when one even gets a hit. The ninth innings are usually pretty fast on our end because of him! "Fear the Beard" though is for Wilson. He has a crazy huge bread, which is dyed black and pretty ridiculous, like him, so those die hard Wilson fans are not shaving their beard till the Giants are done. Therefore, Paul is participating, boy is he participing, his beard is getting crazy thick (and itchy he claims) but he refuses to shave it, not even the "neck beard" that is growing, his exact words "if I shave at all they could lose, so neck and itchy beard are getting touched!"
I can't seem to find a good picture of Wilson's current beard but go to this link and you can see it: http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=5709384
If you want to get a sense of his strangeness, watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yf0j1rmZVbM
Wilson and Posey (Paul's favorite and My favorite) Now my favorite player is #28 Buster Posey. My attraction to Posey may have started with the fact that his number is 28 but my love for him has expanded. He is one of the youngest players (23), an amazing catcher and one of the BEST batters on the team. He rarely disappoints and I appreciate the consistency of him. I mean the team fluctuates enough so knowing that Posey is pretty darn consistent I can relax every 8th batter and when he is behind the plate catching those balls!
Good ol' Buster hitting it out of the park :) Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Cooking
So I might not have followed all my goals from what was it, September? But one thing Paul and I are both doing much better at is cooking. Well, really I should say Paul is an EXCELLENT cook and I am just as good of an eater and dish washer :) But on those few nights that Paul and I do our own thing (Tuesdays since he is playing in Pool League) I have been cooking scrumptious meals, that I end up taking to him the next day for lunch!
Thought I would share the two most recent ones!
First I made homemade Chicken Fried Rice. I went to the local produce market and picked up: Carrots, onions, corn, zucchini, green pepper, chives, garlic and broccoi (all organic) The beauty of California, I bought ALL of that for $6!! I cut it up and put it in a frying pan with olive oil, salt and pepper.
I steamed 1 cup of Indian Rice (just cause that's what I like) Take 20 minute and is so yummy... this would be better with day old rice, but I didn't have that so I just cooked some up and let it cool.
I also cut up 2 chicken breast and fried it in Olive Oil with Salt and pepper on the chicken. When the veggies are softer, I added 2 eggs and scrambled it up, put the chicken in and started adding some soy sauce.
I then added all the rice into the pan with the eggs, veggies and chicken and started frying it up. I smothered it with Soy Sauce and let it cook for less than 5 mins.
It was a HUGE meal and so delicious!The next week I made a shrimp and veggie pasta (spicy) I failed to take pictures until it was made, but I can tell you what I did :)
I cut up onions and green peppers and started sauteing them in olive oil with lots of pepper on them.
I then took fresh shrimp and added them into the frying pan with a little butter (since lets face it while bad for you, butter is good!) I didn't want to over cook the shrimp so I turned the heat down and smothered the pan with hot sauce.
I cooked up angel hair pasta, drained it, put some olive oil on it with salt and pepper and then tossed the veggies and spicy shrimp in it.
I toasted a piece of garlic bread and I had a delicious spicy meal!
Again, I am not near the cook Paul is, but I am learning. The bad thing with Paul cooking all the time, I am falling in love with spicy food and can't seem to get enough of it. The past 6 months I have gone through way too much hot sauce!
For the most part, I am fine letting Paul do the cooking, but every once in a while I think I can do a pretty darn good job.
I made him a "midwest" meal the other night consisting of Grilled Steak, Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Corn on the cob, sauteed mushrooms and texas toast. We were too hungry to try to take a photo, but it was good. I couldn't believe I had never made it for him, and while it is far from a Cuban meal, I think he enjoyed it. I just can't wait to get him back home so he can have REAL steak and not this thin crap we call "steak" here!
Monday, October 18, 2010
Need Help
Okay, so this is clear, I am not good at writing on my blog daily when I don't have given topics. Really, my life just isn't that interesting....SO.... to my few followers I approach you for help, anything you want to know? Any topics you can throw my way?
I would LOVE to write more, but honestly, I just don't have many topics to write about. So please please please send me topics and I promise I will write about those topics! :)
I would LOVE to write more, but honestly, I just don't have many topics to write about. So please please please send me topics and I promise I will write about those topics! :)
Monday, October 11, 2010
Finding New Forms of Transportation
October started off a little rough for me. I always dread the first of the month since Rent is due and rent here is far from cheap I always hate seeing the dip in my bank account. Well October's dip ended up being far larger then I ever expected and the final sign that "its time!"
No need to get into the chunk of money that went into getting my car out of the tow lot, lets just say, I got my car back in my possession, paid rent and cried, a lot! But this unexpected expense opened my eyes to the reality that it really is time to sell my car!
Transportation is a funny thing. Growing up in small town Iowa, you kinda rely on cars to get you from point A to point B. Need to go to the store, need to get in the car; want to go to the movies, get in the car; friends house, you're gonna drive...you get the point. Before you even learn how to drive, the car is the most typical/logical way to get anywhere. As a kid I had a bike and rollerblades, but those were for fun. Not really transportation. We would bike around on a sunny summer day and really have no "point B" in mind. When I moved to Eldridge, I do remember walking a little more. I would walk to elementary school but even some days in there, I would have a ride. I started playing Tenor Sax in jr. high and clearly wouldn't dream of carrying that thing home, so of course would get a ride. And, as soon as I was a freshman I got my school drivers permit and DROVE to school. Now I have never calculated this before but according to Google Maps, my home was 0.6 miles from school. Not even a mile. Google claims i could walk there in 10 min and drive in 3 min. And yes, even though parking was a bitch and traffic leaving school at the end of the day was a headache, I drove those 0.6 miles every single day. Also, lets remember, I lived in a VERY SAFE neighborhood. Walking after dark, not an issue.
When I moved to Stevens-Point, WI, a car was in order. Another small midwest town that was a half hour/45 min drive to get anywhere (food, shopping etc). The car was also great for the 5.5 hour drive back home once a month, ah those were the days!
Chicago started changing my mind. I no longer NEEDED a car. In order to go home I someone had to come pick me up which was a bummer, but I didn't NEED the car in the city. I became accustomed to the "El" and buses. Not bad. Being a student there part of our tuition was a pass to the train and buses for unlimited rides all semester. I also lived less then a block away from food, groceries, coffee, and the Red, Orange and Green train lines. Easy! 8 months after living there though I "needed" my car to leave town so I rented a parking space for the month...one month turned into almost 3 years with my car. When I moved to a new apartment it came with a parking spot, so why would I ever get rid of it? I drove to friends house, the store (so I didn't have to carry groceries back of course) and really, everywhere. I was back to being one with the car. Shoot!
The move to SF brought on a lot of expenses so I thought "hmm if I sell my car I could get that money and then have a little more of a 'nest egg'" But then was informed by a teacher who lived in SF for over 20 years that if I have/use a car in Chicago I would be lost with out a car in SF. I listened and drove my car across the country to SF. And I am glad I did. I ended up living in East Bay (less than 10 miles from the city) but far enough that a car became a necessity once again. Everyday I sat in my car through morning and evening rush hour traffic (a good 3 hours a day, what a waste). I spent $10 a day to park it near work, I put over $30 of gas in it each week, it was depressing. All my hard work was going to this big material which I was so sick up.
I finally moved into the city in a PERFECT location. A few problems arose though: I don't have CA license Plates so therefore I can't get city parking tags, and I can't really afford to switch my plates to CA so I am stuck parking miles away from my house and moving it once a week.
This has been an interesting task the past 6 month. Where to park the car. I was parking it a mile away up this HUGE hill. I mean the hill is so steep that I would seriously have to take breaks while walking up it. That got old, fast! So then I figured out the Mission distract, while not the cleanest or really safest (just a lot of bums and drug addicts roaming the streets...I am never in danger) areas, i was there a lot since Paul lives in the Mission and all of my dance rehearsals, yoga and pilates are there as well! Flat streets are my kind of streets! Great, I found parking, but that is all I do, park! I move my car 1 to 2 times a week to a new parking spot because of street cleaning. Usually in those days we take Paul's laundry to my place to do (I have a washer and dryer and he doesn't) and then I go back to parking it. This is unsafe and a sure way to get broken into, towed or even stolen...
While I have LOVED my little Lancer, its been good to me, the stress and expense of it is just too much these days. The .6 miles I could have walked to school back in the day seem like nothing as I recently calculated that I, on average walk 10 miles a day these days. And really, I love it! So the car is now on the market. I have a few people who are potentially interested (friends actually) Which would be great because if by chance I would need it, I am sure I could borrow the good ol Lancer for a spin around the block or a shopping spree at Target (no Target in the city...must drive 30 min outside...wah wah!).
Now I have played the walking game for about 6 months and it has not been bad to me. But the busier I get the more I realize that I need an addition solution. So now I am on a mission, find a bike. Did you know that GOOD street bike can cost $1,000- $2,000!! No joke! I about had a heart attack when starting research. So I am reaching out to ya'all for advice. I have had some really great advice from JoHo's brother who knows a lot about bikes, but this purchase is going to be a big deal I think. I would like to not spend more than $500 if at all possible, and even that will have to come AFTER the car is sold even though I want it NOW! :) But in a city that bike rule, I am ready to join in and become that "biker chick!" ;) Cheap (in the long run), easy, good work out and much quicker than walking! I can't wait to truly feel like a San Franciscan! Any advice on good road bikes (for a reasonable price) send my way!
No need to get into the chunk of money that went into getting my car out of the tow lot, lets just say, I got my car back in my possession, paid rent and cried, a lot! But this unexpected expense opened my eyes to the reality that it really is time to sell my car!
Transportation is a funny thing. Growing up in small town Iowa, you kinda rely on cars to get you from point A to point B. Need to go to the store, need to get in the car; want to go to the movies, get in the car; friends house, you're gonna drive...you get the point. Before you even learn how to drive, the car is the most typical/logical way to get anywhere. As a kid I had a bike and rollerblades, but those were for fun. Not really transportation. We would bike around on a sunny summer day and really have no "point B" in mind. When I moved to Eldridge, I do remember walking a little more. I would walk to elementary school but even some days in there, I would have a ride. I started playing Tenor Sax in jr. high and clearly wouldn't dream of carrying that thing home, so of course would get a ride. And, as soon as I was a freshman I got my school drivers permit and DROVE to school. Now I have never calculated this before but according to Google Maps, my home was 0.6 miles from school. Not even a mile. Google claims i could walk there in 10 min and drive in 3 min. And yes, even though parking was a bitch and traffic leaving school at the end of the day was a headache, I drove those 0.6 miles every single day. Also, lets remember, I lived in a VERY SAFE neighborhood. Walking after dark, not an issue.
When I moved to Stevens-Point, WI, a car was in order. Another small midwest town that was a half hour/45 min drive to get anywhere (food, shopping etc). The car was also great for the 5.5 hour drive back home once a month, ah those were the days!
Chicago started changing my mind. I no longer NEEDED a car. In order to go home I someone had to come pick me up which was a bummer, but I didn't NEED the car in the city. I became accustomed to the "El" and buses. Not bad. Being a student there part of our tuition was a pass to the train and buses for unlimited rides all semester. I also lived less then a block away from food, groceries, coffee, and the Red, Orange and Green train lines. Easy! 8 months after living there though I "needed" my car to leave town so I rented a parking space for the month...one month turned into almost 3 years with my car. When I moved to a new apartment it came with a parking spot, so why would I ever get rid of it? I drove to friends house, the store (so I didn't have to carry groceries back of course) and really, everywhere. I was back to being one with the car. Shoot!
The move to SF brought on a lot of expenses so I thought "hmm if I sell my car I could get that money and then have a little more of a 'nest egg'" But then was informed by a teacher who lived in SF for over 20 years that if I have/use a car in Chicago I would be lost with out a car in SF. I listened and drove my car across the country to SF. And I am glad I did. I ended up living in East Bay (less than 10 miles from the city) but far enough that a car became a necessity once again. Everyday I sat in my car through morning and evening rush hour traffic (a good 3 hours a day, what a waste). I spent $10 a day to park it near work, I put over $30 of gas in it each week, it was depressing. All my hard work was going to this big material which I was so sick up.
I finally moved into the city in a PERFECT location. A few problems arose though: I don't have CA license Plates so therefore I can't get city parking tags, and I can't really afford to switch my plates to CA so I am stuck parking miles away from my house and moving it once a week.
This has been an interesting task the past 6 month. Where to park the car. I was parking it a mile away up this HUGE hill. I mean the hill is so steep that I would seriously have to take breaks while walking up it. That got old, fast! So then I figured out the Mission distract, while not the cleanest or really safest (just a lot of bums and drug addicts roaming the streets...I am never in danger) areas, i was there a lot since Paul lives in the Mission and all of my dance rehearsals, yoga and pilates are there as well! Flat streets are my kind of streets! Great, I found parking, but that is all I do, park! I move my car 1 to 2 times a week to a new parking spot because of street cleaning. Usually in those days we take Paul's laundry to my place to do (I have a washer and dryer and he doesn't) and then I go back to parking it. This is unsafe and a sure way to get broken into, towed or even stolen...
While I have LOVED my little Lancer, its been good to me, the stress and expense of it is just too much these days. The .6 miles I could have walked to school back in the day seem like nothing as I recently calculated that I, on average walk 10 miles a day these days. And really, I love it! So the car is now on the market. I have a few people who are potentially interested (friends actually) Which would be great because if by chance I would need it, I am sure I could borrow the good ol Lancer for a spin around the block or a shopping spree at Target (no Target in the city...must drive 30 min outside...wah wah!).
Now I have played the walking game for about 6 months and it has not been bad to me. But the busier I get the more I realize that I need an addition solution. So now I am on a mission, find a bike. Did you know that GOOD street bike can cost $1,000- $2,000!! No joke! I about had a heart attack when starting research. So I am reaching out to ya'all for advice. I have had some really great advice from JoHo's brother who knows a lot about bikes, but this purchase is going to be a big deal I think. I would like to not spend more than $500 if at all possible, and even that will have to come AFTER the car is sold even though I want it NOW! :) But in a city that bike rule, I am ready to join in and become that "biker chick!" ;) Cheap (in the long run), easy, good work out and much quicker than walking! I can't wait to truly feel like a San Franciscan! Any advice on good road bikes (for a reasonable price) send my way!
Monday, September 27, 2010
A Successful Evening
A few post back, I think it was the "what have you learned..." post I mention my conversation with my friend Mo about Paul and me and how I have been chicken to fully involve him in my dance life. It is a scary thing for me, opening myself up completely. Dance is so close to me, while I don't want to be DEFINED by dance, it is so much of who I am that sometimes it becomes challenging to separate. Involving my significant other in my dance world, to me, means there is no turning back. I haven't honestly done such a thing since I have fully chosen this path in life. I haven't invited a boyfriend into the crazy dance world, nor have I wanted to. Maybe I am just greedy and selfish but it is MY world, so involving a boyfriend in it, I thought, took it away from being MINE.
Well, a couple of weeks ago, Paul called me out on my lack of involving him. It was after we both had kind of an off week and while we weren't fighting we weren't as lovey dovey as normal nor did we really want to talk much to each other (don't worry it was just a few off days). I told him of an event happening in SF that Sat night that he might be interested in and he responded along the terms of, "oh we have seen it before, lets do something else." I quickly had to inform him that I actually already had plans for Saturday night as our intern at DG had his first professional show and gave me a ticket to it. Paul's response shocked me and also made me realize how invested we really are in each others lives. He basically informed me that if we are going to continue dating, I need to start involving him in my dance/professional life more often and that he WANTS to be apart of it. My heart melt.
While I was still nervous and I am pretty sure I asked about 50 times if he "was SURE" he wanted to come he over and over again reassured me that he did, and boy did he fit in. Paul shocked me like he has never shocked me before. I had apologized after the show because I felt like I really needed to stay and talk to those I knew and he told me to "go, do your thing." I kinda assumed that it meant "go and I will go out and have a cigarette and meet you outside," OR "go, I will wait for you over on this wall." Now I know he is cute and charming and melts peoples hearts pretty quickly (and easily) but he was so much more than that. He was invested. While I went to mingle, so did he. Unlike some who shy away from approaching conversation, he jumped right in. He didn't need me to introduce him, he didn't need me to lead him, he just went and chit chatted with dancers he had never met before. He went up to Eric (the choreographer) and even offered him feedback (PS this was maybe his 3rd modern dance show ever), he mingled with all the dancers, and never once did he come across bored or uninterested. It was perfect, better then I could have ever imagined.
After the show my co-worker, Kegan, Paul and I went to a near by bar to play some pool and hang out. Kegan asked Paul what he thought and rather than saying "it was good," or "fine" or whatever lame response one may give after seeing something unfamiliar, Paul tried to be insightful. He said what he liked and didn't like, and ended saying that he is excited for more.
Wow.
That is really all I can say. I was blown away by his support and enthusiasm to the whole evening and I am truly honored to have him in my life. I realize now that I had nothing, absolutely nothing to be afraid of!
Well, a couple of weeks ago, Paul called me out on my lack of involving him. It was after we both had kind of an off week and while we weren't fighting we weren't as lovey dovey as normal nor did we really want to talk much to each other (don't worry it was just a few off days). I told him of an event happening in SF that Sat night that he might be interested in and he responded along the terms of, "oh we have seen it before, lets do something else." I quickly had to inform him that I actually already had plans for Saturday night as our intern at DG had his first professional show and gave me a ticket to it. Paul's response shocked me and also made me realize how invested we really are in each others lives. He basically informed me that if we are going to continue dating, I need to start involving him in my dance/professional life more often and that he WANTS to be apart of it. My heart melt.
While I was still nervous and I am pretty sure I asked about 50 times if he "was SURE" he wanted to come he over and over again reassured me that he did, and boy did he fit in. Paul shocked me like he has never shocked me before. I had apologized after the show because I felt like I really needed to stay and talk to those I knew and he told me to "go, do your thing." I kinda assumed that it meant "go and I will go out and have a cigarette and meet you outside," OR "go, I will wait for you over on this wall." Now I know he is cute and charming and melts peoples hearts pretty quickly (and easily) but he was so much more than that. He was invested. While I went to mingle, so did he. Unlike some who shy away from approaching conversation, he jumped right in. He didn't need me to introduce him, he didn't need me to lead him, he just went and chit chatted with dancers he had never met before. He went up to Eric (the choreographer) and even offered him feedback (PS this was maybe his 3rd modern dance show ever), he mingled with all the dancers, and never once did he come across bored or uninterested. It was perfect, better then I could have ever imagined.
After the show my co-worker, Kegan, Paul and I went to a near by bar to play some pool and hang out. Kegan asked Paul what he thought and rather than saying "it was good," or "fine" or whatever lame response one may give after seeing something unfamiliar, Paul tried to be insightful. He said what he liked and didn't like, and ended saying that he is excited for more.
Wow.
That is really all I can say. I was blown away by his support and enthusiasm to the whole evening and I am truly honored to have him in my life. I realize now that I had nothing, absolutely nothing to be afraid of!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Homecooking
Paul and I must be an old couple. How many mid 20 year olds do you know who would rather spend a quite Friday inside together vs going out on the town? This past Friday we both felt so tired and like we needed to just be together but without the crowds so Paul came over and we made a big delicious dinner together. Paul had never seen lasagna being made so I made a homemade lasagna (homemade sauce went in it by the way!) and he made a Cuban Salad!
We were both so hungry by the time it was done that the pictures aren't very great but it was amazing so I quickly took a few snap shots that I thought I would share :)
Lasagna before it went into the oven!
My very hungry boy!
Cuban Salad
Cuban Salad 2
Eating our salad while the lasagna sat for a few minutes
Finished Lasagna Yumm!
Had to have Garlic bread with it!
You can see the steam rising from it! It was delicious and once we were done we ended up falling asleep before we could even put a movie in!! We may be like an old couple, but we sure did have a nice quiet evening home. And honestly being in the kitchen is one of my favorite things to do with Paul!
We were both so hungry by the time it was done that the pictures aren't very great but it was amazing so I quickly took a few snap shots that I thought I would share :)
Lasagna before it went into the oven!
My very hungry boy!
Cuban Salad
Cuban Salad 2
Eating our salad while the lasagna sat for a few minutes
Finished Lasagna Yumm!
Had to have Garlic bread with it!
You can see the steam rising from it! It was delicious and once we were done we ended up falling asleep before we could even put a movie in!! We may be like an old couple, but we sure did have a nice quiet evening home. And honestly being in the kitchen is one of my favorite things to do with Paul!Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Day 30- Your favorite song
I have too many songs that I love- from Musical Theater to Pop- I will write one thing and then wish I wrote something else but the first thing that came to my mind and the song that is my ring tone and a go to make me feel better song would have to be...
Don't Stop Believing - Journey
Kinda embarrassing, I know, Paul makes fun of me because its such a "white" song. But I will not deny that I love Love LOVE the song!
Again I have so many songs I love, but the top of my head right here, right now I will go with that!
Don't Stop Believing - Journey
Kinda embarrassing, I know, Paul makes fun of me because its such a "white" song. But I will not deny that I love Love LOVE the song!
Again I have so many songs I love, but the top of my head right here, right now I will go with that!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
I have been thinking about this one a lot actually. I wish that the saying "you learn something new everyday" truly applied to me and that I had a list of 30 things to share with you...but not sure I am there...But I will ramble off plenty of random things for you.
1. I am the strongest I have ever been (I can lift men above my head, with their help with a jump of course) and I shouldn't be afraid about my once broken ribs.
2. I like baseball way more than I ever thought I would
3. Mad Men is one brilliant TV show!
4. I miss choreographing & performing MY work
5. I love spending a quite evening at home making a big delicious dinner with my boyfriend. It is way better than going out to eat in my book.
6. I have little patients for those who create drama and stress for themselves and then complain about it.
7. I miss my friends and family from the midwest (I always know this but I have been reminded just how much this past month)
8. I have an itch to look into grad schools (even though I don't plan to attend for awhile still)
9. I really do love writing
10. A good friend in SF recently reminded me not to lose myself in my work, boyfriend, dance, and volunteering. Not really something I "learned" but an amazing reminder. She reminded me how easy it is to get trapped in other people's worlds (especially talking about Paul since we are both so different) but the friendly reminder to stay true to myself was great to hear and while I don't think I lost myself, it also pushed me to also remind Paul to be involved with my interests too, not just me being involved in his. This is a much longer lesson, but I think I often fear welcoming others into my crazy artist life and so I adapt to theirs. An artist gets rejected enough, getting rejected from people we really care about it hard. This is not to say that Paul would reject my passion, my work, my life, but I have found its been nice to not have him as involved in it but now may be the time to not throw him in full force but to encourage him to enter in more often. If I don't open that part of me up to him, how will he ever truly know me completely right?
1. I am the strongest I have ever been (I can lift men above my head, with their help with a jump of course) and I shouldn't be afraid about my once broken ribs.
2. I like baseball way more than I ever thought I would
3. Mad Men is one brilliant TV show!
4. I miss choreographing & performing MY work
5. I love spending a quite evening at home making a big delicious dinner with my boyfriend. It is way better than going out to eat in my book.
6. I have little patients for those who create drama and stress for themselves and then complain about it.
7. I miss my friends and family from the midwest (I always know this but I have been reminded just how much this past month)
8. I have an itch to look into grad schools (even though I don't plan to attend for awhile still)
9. I really do love writing
10. A good friend in SF recently reminded me not to lose myself in my work, boyfriend, dance, and volunteering. Not really something I "learned" but an amazing reminder. She reminded me how easy it is to get trapped in other people's worlds (especially talking about Paul since we are both so different) but the friendly reminder to stay true to myself was great to hear and while I don't think I lost myself, it also pushed me to also remind Paul to be involved with my interests too, not just me being involved in his. This is a much longer lesson, but I think I often fear welcoming others into my crazy artist life and so I adapt to theirs. An artist gets rejected enough, getting rejected from people we really care about it hard. This is not to say that Paul would reject my passion, my work, my life, but I have found its been nice to not have him as involved in it but now may be the time to not throw him in full force but to encourage him to enter in more often. If I don't open that part of me up to him, how will he ever truly know me completely right?
Monday, September 20, 2010
day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?
September 2009
August 2010I tried to take 2 pictures that were as close as a year apart as possible. Besides my long hair being buzzed off (and now growing back out), and broken ribs not being broken anymore, not too much has changed. When I broke my ribs I gained some weight but I am back down to a smaller size then I was before I broke my ribs and stronger than I have ever been! I buzzed my hair off in Dec and then again in May which was one of the most liberating things. To have barley any hair is so amazing. I didn't realize how much time I would spend each day on trying to "fix" my wavy/curly hair and to really not have any was so freeing (I HIGHLY recommend all women try it! Free yourself from your hair!) umm..I moved to a great apartment. I have Finally allowed myself to commit to a relationship. And I am still a work-aholoic! I think the thing that has changed the most over the past year though is my sense of time. I never use to take time. I always wanted to go, go go, push hard and never rest. Recently I realized how unhealthy that was for me and through the year I have really started to allow myself to relax, to enjoy a social life and to not work myself into the ground. While my rib injury at the time was one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with, this past year has been a year full of learning, growth, and improvement. I feel stronger, healthier and happier then I thought was possible. The negative of the year, I miss home. I love living in California but moments like last night when I had to spend $420 for a plane ticket home for Christmas, kinda killed me. The astronomical cost to go see my loved ones breaks my heart and I so badly crave weekends home with the folks, and the longer I'm away, the more I miss them and desire them to be near. Who knows when I'll end back in Chicago, I am sure someday, but until then I just have to be thankful for all the technology I have at my fingertips to keep me in close contact with everyone and be grateful for the ongoing love and support they give me!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
I started a blog at the beginning of 2010 in hopes to reconnect/stay connected with loved ones from back home (and I was also fighting insomnia so what better way to kill time at 3am?!). I told people about it at first but then I failed to continue writing on it so I am pretty sure all 4 or 5 people who were actually checking it got tired of the months going by with no word from me. Paul told me that it take 24 days in a row of doing the same thing to form a habit, so a 30 day challenge seems perfect right?
Recently a friend of mine created a blog and I suddenly was inspired to start writing on mine again. I realized how much I enjoyed reading her updates as we don't get to talk much anymore and thought maybe, just maybe she would feel the same about my updates. A few weeks after I started catching up on her life, she started this challenge and it fully inspired me to do it as well. While we may be 3,000 miles apart, at least we could enjoy each others daily topics and maybe the few others who randomly read the blog would as well.
Writing is also something so therapeutic to me and I just don't do it enough. writing in a journal use to be my thing and while I don't think i would use this blog to journal about everything this challenge has defiantly inspired me to continue writing. Now I doubt I will make it back here everyday (my life isn't that exciting) but I defiantly plan to stay more on top of this thing and hope to stay connected with old friends through it!
Thanks Sarah for the inspiration!
Recently a friend of mine created a blog and I suddenly was inspired to start writing on mine again. I realized how much I enjoyed reading her updates as we don't get to talk much anymore and thought maybe, just maybe she would feel the same about my updates. A few weeks after I started catching up on her life, she started this challenge and it fully inspired me to do it as well. While we may be 3,000 miles apart, at least we could enjoy each others daily topics and maybe the few others who randomly read the blog would as well.
Writing is also something so therapeutic to me and I just don't do it enough. writing in a journal use to be my thing and while I don't think i would use this blog to journal about everything this challenge has defiantly inspired me to continue writing. Now I doubt I will make it back here everyday (my life isn't that exciting) but I defiantly plan to stay more on top of this thing and hope to stay connected with old friends through it!
Thanks Sarah for the inspiration!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
day 26- what do you think about your friends
Haha what an odd topic, but I am not feeling creative to change it, so I suppose I will write about my friends. Not that I don't love them all, but that should be a given if they are my friends right? So I guess I will give some details! :)
I use to always want to be surrounded by people so I was "friends" with everyone. Through the years things have changed but have realized who my real friends are and while I may not have an abundance, I believe I have the best friends anyone could ask for.
My Iowa friends...oh I miss them. There are a few good friends from HS that I don't get to talk to you often, but think about all the time. There were 6 of us girls who were super close in HS (A, Sarah, Lindsey, Alli and Steph- and me) We had girls nights even when we were in college. They are wonderful. I can't believe how time has past though and by next year 3 will be married! Lindz is in Africa, A has a great job and is buying her own place (wow!) and I am off living in California. We don't talk much and I unfortunately couldn't make it home for Sarah's wedding but as much as we all change and time passes, I know that these ladies will always have a special place in my heart. They knew everything about me at one point and were always super supportive. They often remind me that they think about me and are proud of me, and though times have changed, I am sure the 6 of us could meet up and have the time of our lives once again!
(Here are a few pictures from the past...but most are on discs/hard drive and I didn't want to pull them off...but these make me smile!)
A and I- what we do best...DANCE! 2004 We have been dancing together since 1988!
in Chicago before I moved 2008
Sarah and me...2003 maybe? LP car wash!
Ali, Sarah, A and me 2003 is my guess
Graduation day 2004
Our last sleep over before we went to College 2004Chicago Besties. When in college I developed 4 very different relationships that are still so very special to me. First there is Marky. Oh Marky Mark and I met in 2005 when a new dance major friend asked if she could bring her friend from HS over for a pasta dinner/So you think you can dance night. WHEW he was a lot to handle and if you asked me that night if he would be one of my closest friends, I would have laughed. But 5 years later (we just had our 5 yr anniversary last month) I would be lost and hopeless without him! He is my sunshine. Marky knows EVERYTHING about me. We try to talk daily (sometimes a few times a day when we are lucky) even if its just for a brief "I love you" Marky supports me so much and loves me with all of his heart.
The night before I moved to Cali 2008
Thanksgiving 2009
May 2010Coley is another wonderful human. She is so caring and loving and really teaches me to be patient and understanding. Not only that but Coley makes me laugh so much! She cracks me up. We use to do weekly dinner dates at Ma&i and they even knew our order by heart! My favorite time to talk to Coley is when she is shopping or driving because her random outburst put such a smile on my face. Coley is so good at reminding me that she cares.
2008? 
Election night 2008Beans- oh ALLLLYYY!!!- This girl is HILARIOUS! It is seriously impossible NOT to laugh when with her! Beans and I became super close my last year in Chicago. I am not sure even how it happened but one minute I didn't know her and the next minute I would be lost without her. The girl is talented beyond belief and is a true fighter. A daredevil for sure! She doesn't give up and I totally respect her for that. She reminds me to keep pushing and not lose hope. She also reminds me of what a true friend is. Whenever I am feeling down and homesick I could check out a video or look at photos with Beans and I feel so much better. PS this is just an example of how awesome Beans is. Everyone in our "click" had nicknames but her and so when signing a gift to me for my senior concert they decided to mark her as "Beans" since she loves eating her beans. who would have thought that 2 years later thats all I call her!
Performance Spring 2008JoHo- now JoHo is a special case. JoHo is a Chicago and Cali friend and thank goodness for that. While we don't live uber close (6.5 hours away) knowing she is in the same state is comforting! JoHo and I are another random match up of friends. We danced in a piece together and overnight we became super close. I even moved into the same condo building a few months later. JoHo was always my go to girl. We went shopping together, watched tv (sex and the city!), ate together, got pedicures, and just hung out! We were never high maintenance friends. The simple act of being in the same room together is enough to entertain. I am super lucky because I get to see her once a month when I go to LA for rehearsals. I stay with her and her amazing husband and while I am in rehearsals most of the time we stay up late gossiping, whispering and giggling!
San Francisco 2009
Driving the day before her wedding day
Wedding day 2009! This was right after the ceremony and we were both a hot mess of tears! 
SF 2010Cali buds: I have made some good friends here in Cali. Lots of dance buddies but the really good friends are between Mo, kegan and Paul. Paul is quickly turning into one of my best friends. I know that sometimes it can be hard to tell a boyfriend how you are feeling in fear that they wont understand but Paul and I can not only read each other, we can tell each other anything and we understand. He is really is not only a great boyfriend but an amazing friend. He for sure makes me laugh all the time, we give each other a hard time, debate well together and always support. We are night and day, summer and winter, ying and yang but its so perfect for both of us.
Date Night on a random Friday 
Last dinner with my momma and Godmother in August 2010
Fourth of JulyMo is fantastic. She and I were interns at DG the same time and we were each others support while applying for jobs at DG. We go to Yoga together, she teaches me pilates, we have coffee dates often, we talk boys, life, family and work together. We send each other daily emails (at work) to vent when we need to, gossip if there is some or just keep motivating one another. She is my rock at work and for when I need a really great girlfriend to sit over a hot coffee with and just chat.
Summer 2009
in Wine country 2009Kegan is my gay husband here in SF. He grounds me. Reminds me when to say no and when to keep pushing. He helps me focus on my goal without killing myself. We can so easily have a good laugh together or a good cry. We are neighbors, co-wos and good friends. He is very big brother and such a safety net. If I were to fall, Kegan would go out of his way to catch me.
Disney Land 2009In a nut shell, I am a lucky girl. I love my friends with all my heart. I wish I could see them more, talk often and live close to them all, I hope they all know they all hold very special places in my heart!
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