A few post back, I think it was the "what have you learned..." post I mention my conversation with my friend Mo about Paul and me and how I have been chicken to fully involve him in my dance life. It is a scary thing for me, opening myself up completely. Dance is so close to me, while I don't want to be DEFINED by dance, it is so much of who I am that sometimes it becomes challenging to separate. Involving my significant other in my dance world, to me, means there is no turning back. I haven't honestly done such a thing since I have fully chosen this path in life. I haven't invited a boyfriend into the crazy dance world, nor have I wanted to. Maybe I am just greedy and selfish but it is MY world, so involving a boyfriend in it, I thought, took it away from being MINE.
Well, a couple of weeks ago, Paul called me out on my lack of involving him. It was after we both had kind of an off week and while we weren't fighting we weren't as lovey dovey as normal nor did we really want to talk much to each other (don't worry it was just a few off days). I told him of an event happening in SF that Sat night that he might be interested in and he responded along the terms of, "oh we have seen it before, lets do something else." I quickly had to inform him that I actually already had plans for Saturday night as our intern at DG had his first professional show and gave me a ticket to it. Paul's response shocked me and also made me realize how invested we really are in each others lives. He basically informed me that if we are going to continue dating, I need to start involving him in my dance/professional life more often and that he WANTS to be apart of it. My heart melt.
While I was still nervous and I am pretty sure I asked about 50 times if he "was SURE" he wanted to come he over and over again reassured me that he did, and boy did he fit in. Paul shocked me like he has never shocked me before. I had apologized after the show because I felt like I really needed to stay and talk to those I knew and he told me to "go, do your thing." I kinda assumed that it meant "go and I will go out and have a cigarette and meet you outside," OR "go, I will wait for you over on this wall." Now I know he is cute and charming and melts peoples hearts pretty quickly (and easily) but he was so much more than that. He was invested. While I went to mingle, so did he. Unlike some who shy away from approaching conversation, he jumped right in. He didn't need me to introduce him, he didn't need me to lead him, he just went and chit chatted with dancers he had never met before. He went up to Eric (the choreographer) and even offered him feedback (PS this was maybe his 3rd modern dance show ever), he mingled with all the dancers, and never once did he come across bored or uninterested. It was perfect, better then I could have ever imagined.
After the show my co-worker, Kegan, Paul and I went to a near by bar to play some pool and hang out. Kegan asked Paul what he thought and rather than saying "it was good," or "fine" or whatever lame response one may give after seeing something unfamiliar, Paul tried to be insightful. He said what he liked and didn't like, and ended saying that he is excited for more.
Wow.
That is really all I can say. I was blown away by his support and enthusiasm to the whole evening and I am truly honored to have him in my life. I realize now that I had nothing, absolutely nothing to be afraid of!
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