2010 in a Flash

Wow time sure does come and go quickly. I mean, first its been about a month since I have updated my blog (so sorry!) but looking at the larger picture, its been a year since I have started this blog, and a lot has happened this year. Therefore, it is that time again to reflect on my year. 2010 was a good year for me and it is going to be hard to just pick a few good highlights, so bare with me. Like last year, I can't really par down to top 10 moments, but I think I have a good top 15! These are in no particular order, Just as I think of them.

1. Paul: Now I have been talking about Paul on my blog since he entered into my life 9 months ago, but he has defiantly been a huge highlight to my life this year. I have always taken pride of my independence and also had a fear of commitment, but Paul has really changed that. He has been a great companion, better than I ever imagined. Meeting Paul at Starbucks is kinda of a dream come true. Sounds cheesy and lame, but since I have been drinking coffee, I always fantasized that I would meet my dream guy in a coffee shop. Paul is a great opposite to me, really, he is just that, my opposite. The two of us are proof that opposites really do attract and I am so grateful that I met him. He cooks for me, I clean, we really don't like the same kind of movies but tolerate them, we have a few TV shows in common, I am over organized and he tends to be (in my book) under organized, I plan, he doesn't, I stress, he is calm... I could go on and on, but all that matters is that we really do make each other happy, opposite and all! We brought in 2011 together and I can't wait to see how we grow and learn from each other in the year(s) to come.

May 2010

August 2010

December 2010

2. Dancers' Group promotion: In January 2010 I recieved a great promotion at Dancers' Group. They doubled my hours and that allowed me to quite my other part time job and fully focus on my work at Dancers' Group. Spending all 5 days of my week at Dancers' Group has been an amazing change on my daily life; less stress, growth in my knowledge, stronger friendships with my co-workers, and the excitement that I will be receiving another promotion in 2011. Dancers' Group is an ideal job for me and I am so privileged to be working with such an honorable non-profit organization.

My Office

My Desk

The Dancers' Group Christmas Family Picture (DG Staff)

3. Moved into new SF apartment: In May I found a great room in a 3 bedroom apartment in the heart of San Francisco. I live off the major street (Market) right on the edge of Castro (Harvey Milk). I LOVE it. My room actually use to be the dinning room, but I have a closet, two big windows and plenty of space for Gerti and me. I live with 2 men, Steve and Frank who are really great roommates and Millie the dog. Life here is simple and easy. No fights, no conflicts, just 2 men and a lady! Rent is high but location is great and we are a great apartment family!

Our house (2nd floor)

My room, I know I should have something hanging above my bed, but I am too afraid of earthquakes to put something above my head, so I deal with a bare wall!

My room

My room (Christmas)

4. First professional tour to Chicago: In May I went on my first out of state tour with a professional dance company. It was an experience to say the least, but I am so grateful for it. While I was still recovering from broken ribs it was a crazy journey to get back to performing, but the best part of the tour was that I was performing in Chicago. I was able to fly out and spend a week with my family and friends and perform in a city I know so well.

After opening night show with my Chicago Besties!!

DHPCo (the company I toured with)

5. NYC in March: It is becoming a wonderful tradition that I visit my big brother in NYC each year and this year was a great visit as I was able to see him perform an amazing concert! I met my mom and dad there which was so nice to have the whole family together. My brothers concert was unbelievable and they were even asked to tour to Italy after an amazing review in the NYTimes! We also got to see Next To Normal, Come Fly Away and Mamma Mia (which I didn't like at all!). My mom and I are hoping to keep this tradition going in the coming years, well as long as Sean is living there I suppose!

Sean and me in front of an off Broadway theater he plays at each week

Mom and I went on the Sex and the City tour, so much fun!! This is in front of one of our stops!

The stage of Sean's concert

6. Mom came to SF in August: Another tradition that is starting is mom coming to visit me in August. This was the 2nd year that she came and I am so lucky that she makes the trip. Having her see my daily life means the world to me, and having her in SF forces me to take a break from working! We went to Sonoma this year for wine tasting instead of Napa and it was beautiful. My Godmother also came and they stayed in a lovely bed and breakfast down the street from me as my apartment doesn't house many more people. Mom also was able to meet Paul for the first time which really was special. I couldn't imagine her not knowing him at all, even if it was only for a few days, them knowing each other means the world to me. Mom also was able to see me perform a new solo at The Garage and meet Paul's mom and sister too. It was another great visit and really means so much to me to have her come visit. Now maybe we can get Brad here in 2011!

At a winery in Sonoma

Me at a winery, looks like I might have had too much wine ;)

We took Paul out to dinner and to see Beach Blanket Babalone (the longest running show in SF)

7. Friends Reunite: This Christmas while I was in Chicago I had 2 very special guests.They day after I arrived my long time friend Sarah came to spend the night and the next afternoon with me. A week later A, my longest friend (I've known her since I was 2) came for a day/night. Seeing both of these girls was amazing as I hadn't seen them since the day I moved to California, 2 years ago! They both have changed/grown so much. Sarah is married to her long time boyfriend, A is working an amazing job at John Deere and still dancing as well. They both make me so happy and seeing them reminds me of how much I miss them. They both share such a passion for life and love and I am so grateful to have them even in my life. While I don't get to talk to them weekly or even monthly, I know they both support me and love me and I couldn't ask for better friends. Now, lets hope we don't have to go another 2 years before seeing each other again!

Sarah and me

Sarah and me

A and me

A enjoying our feast of a breakfast!

8. Home for Christmas: Being home for 2 weeks for Christmas was amazing. So many people work jobs that allow them MAYBE a week off. I couldn't feel more lucky to be able to fly to Chicago, with Gerti, and spend 2 amazing weeks without working. Seriously, no work! I was able to see snow, spend time with my parents, brother, grandparents and friends. It was a great two weeks of not doing much and loving every minute. I got an iPad and wii for Christmas and my mom also made everyone a book of our trip to Europe which is amazing. Being with my grandparents is so very special and while I wish I could see them more, I was so thankful for the time I had with them. My family is the greatest so I am so lucky to have shared the holiday with them.

Sean, mom and me

Gerti and Grandma become friends quickly!

Mom's amazing homemade cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning

SNOW!!! Call me crazy, but I have missed it!

Gerti's favorite hiding place, under the tree with the presents

9. Thanksgiving with Paul's Family: This year was the first every Thanksgiving I spent without my family, and that wasn't easy. I was so lucky though to have been invited into Paul's family with open arms. I had two days of family and food with Paul's dad's side and mom's side and it was great. I met even more of Paul's family and really felt so loved by everyone. On Thanksgiving we hung out in Redwood city at his Dad's house baking, watching the dog show and hanging out with his sister before we went to his Dad's mom's house for a big feast. His aunts and cousins were there as well and it was the first time meeting everyone from the Salguero side. The next day we heading to his mom's parents house in Fremont with his aunts, uncles and cousins on the Nodal side and had another great day. The Nodal family is full of such spirit. They laugh, sing, dance, and really know how to eat (Cubans ya know!) :) I spent a majority of the evening sitting at the kitchen table with Erica (Paul's AMAZING sister who I adore), Eveyln (his fabulous mom who is such a light to a room) and his aunts (who really crack me up!) talking and sharing stores while Paul and his cousin played video games in the back. I didn't take any pictures either day, I should have, but it really was a great holiday. I missed my family in Chicago, but being so accepted into Paul's family was truly amazing. Another highlight to the day was that Paul and I started it by video chatting with my whole family in Chicago. It was the first time he met my brother, dad and grandparents, he was a trooper that's for sure!

10. Giants won the World Series: Yes, I became a baseball fan. It was because of Paul but I am so glad for it. The SF Giants had a great season and I was able to go to games and watch most of them! I am hooked. I didn't miss a game of the world series and I am already looking forward to next season to start! Go Giants!

At my first Giants game vs the Dodgers!

Giants Vs the Cubies (brr that game was FREEZING!)

Paul didn't shave his beard throughout the whole World Series in honor of our closing pitcher, Brian Wilson, "Fear the Beard." This picture is after we won, I was so ready for him to shave his beard!

As soon as they won, this is what the streets looked like!

11. Performed a brand new solo, "Love Thee...Not" I did a new solo in August that I really am happy with. I was also asked to possibly tour this solo in the Spring so I am really excited to continue it. I really am looking forward to the growth of my own solo and duet work for the upcoming year.


12. JoHo came to SF: Joho is one of my dearest and bestest friends and having her come visit me this fall was so wonderful. We make each other laugh over nothing and I always have a great time with her. We cook, we shop, we dance, we laugh, we are two peas in a pod. I see her almost monthly when I go to LA for rehearsals (I stay with her and her husband), but having her come up to see me when I was free and wasn't worn out from rehearsals was so nice. She is one of my best friends and I love her so much!

At the Farmers Market

Sharing a cafe Latte

It's now a tradition for us to go to La Boulange when she comes to visit, so good!

13. Love Everywhere: In Februrary, I took part in a wonderful piece called "Love Everywhere." This was co presented by Dancers' Group and Erika Chong Shuch Performance Project at SF City Hall on Valentines Day Weekend in honor of the anniversary for same sex marriages. The piece had a cast of 65 people (or so) and an orchestra with original music. I had a very small role in the piece, but it was a magical experience and an honor to be apart of. It also introduced me to a new choreographer who I am hoping to work with someday.

Rehearsal in city hall

Jesse and Alex

In rehearsal

14. Holly Johnson/ Ledges and Bones: 2010 was my first full year working with LAB and while I got injured right away in the process, I am so lucky to be apart of this company. Located half in LA and half in SF, we travel back and forth and train hard. The work is challenging, the company is tight. Holly is an amazing choreographer and her vision is unlike anyone I have ever worked with. This year marked a lot of firsts for me, but Ledges and Bones first tops the cake, I did a nude photoshoot, underwater! It was one of the hardest things I have ever done and so fulfilling. It brought the company together closer than we were to begin with and the images I have seen thus far are beautiful. I never have had the confidence, nor interest, in dancing nude, but the photoshoot was one experience I will never forget and I am so thankful I was apart of. It was truly magical.

Pushing hour 10, the company on break!

On location, this is the pool area where we spent over 10 hours.

15. Training: 2010 marked a big year of training for me. Once I could start dancing again after my broken ribs, I became very passionate about yoga, pilates and GST. Dancing is still my passion, but yoga as become a high interest and love. Pilates has brought me close to one of my best friends in SF as she teaches me, and has really brought me so much strenth and structure. GST is the hardest training I have ever done in my whole life, but has lengthened me and made me stronger than I ever thought possible.

Along with physical training. I have started to learn how to play pool, which Paul is a master at. I am not practicing daily, but I do really love it and its training non the less! I have beat Paul a few times now (I think he lets me win) but I am excited to continue learning and growing in all I train in!

Paulie doing what he does best: kicking butt!

There you have it, 2010. It's been a really successful, fulfilling and passionate year for me. A lot of firsts for me, a ton of learning and growing into who I am and so much love. I can't wait to see what 2011 will bring! So here is to 2010 and looking onward to 2011, Cheers!

Struggles

Something that is always a struggle for a performer/ dancer (in my case) is the issues of body image. I have been so lucky in my life to have never been in a situation where I needed to be stick skinny. If I was a ballet dancer, yes, I would have to slim WAY down, but there are many reasons why I am not a ballet dancer, and one is that I love the freedom of bodies in modern dance and I hate the cookie cutter body of a ballerina.

I have made it 24 years, almost to 25 with never having to worry about a diet or being told I am "too fat" from a choreographer, thank goodness. I work out on a daily bases and try to continue training, and because of that, I am usually able to eat anything i want (in proportion). I'll admit that I would slim down even more if I left out fried foods, coffees, ice cream and chips; but I love those things and since I don't consume them everyday (except for coffee), I figure why not indulge once in awhile. And really Paul does most of the cookie and none of it is that "unhealthy." The white rice should probably be changed to brown rice, but with Paul, that will never happen so I just eat a little less rice than he does. Really though, rice is the only carbohydrate we consume. We eat meat and veggies every night, not that unhealthy right?

A month or so ago I had my first nude photoshoot. I was actually planning to blog about it, but there was too much to tell and too little time to write about it. Ledges and Bones (the LA/SF company I dance for) had an amazing underwater nude photoshoot that I took part of. I have never wanted to perform nude, still don't, but the photoshoot was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Everyone in the company felt safe together and comfortable together and it was a brilliant environment to be apart of.

Holly, the artistic director of Ledges and Bones, has always supported everyone's bodies. Never have we needed to lose weight or worry about our image, until recently. A couple of ladies in the company have been fluctuating in body weight, enough to visually see, and because of that, we have all been asked to "Slim our bodies down and enhance our muscular structure." This request wasn't really given as an over time request but rather we have another photo/video shoot in a month and we better be looking our best.

I have had numerous conversations about this with co-workers, fellow dancers and Paul. All who really feel the same way as I do about the idea of "diets" and "weight loss." I think the hardest part of the whole thing is that over the summer when I was in really great shape, probably the best in my life, I was told my body structure was starting to look "manly" and I needed to stop working out as much. So I cut down yoga, pilates and weight lifting in half, and unfortunately my stomach isn't as buff, along with my arms, but I am more "flabby" then I was.

So I am now in a limbo of where do I go from here. Not only is the request to become more muscular hard enough to hear, but realizing that I am heading back to the great MidWest in less than 10 days really makes me nervous. Lets me honest, I have very little self control, and by very little I mean NO self control. I love food and frankly I honestly feel very confident in my body. Its hard to try to change my body when I am not feeling great about it, but its even harder to change it when I am feeling pretty good in my body.

Therefore, I need to find motivation, focus and control to slim down and build muscles up. My co-worker Maureen suggested that I try the "5 small meals a day" diet, but whew that is gonna be hard for someone who really only eats 2 meals a day and a few coffee breaks in the middle :)

The other thing that she suggested was to partner up with friends in a food challenge. She has done diet like competitions with friends and family from all over to help encourage healthy eating, and a better "lifestyle." I need to get over the fact that I think diets tend to be bull shit before I can start, but I suppose tis the season.

Once I figure out the best way to slim down, I may be reaching out for support and team work to do it, any suggestions on how to proceed?

Thankful

This Thanksgiving was a new experience for me, that's for sure. I was feeling down in the dumps since I was so far away from my family and not able to fly back to Chicago to be with them, but I was fortunate that I did not have to be alone on Thanksgiving.

After putting up the Christmas Tree, Gerti was ready to fly back to Chicago, she hadn't curled up in her carrier since last year, but look where I found her! We both wanted to be with the family so badly!

Wednesday night Paul and I made a yummy dinner together, spaghetti carbonara. It was a HUGE and filling meal but very good for our first time making it. I think we both would do some things differently next time but it was a good first attempt for sure. Then I made 2 batches of cookies, Ginger Molasses and Pumpkin and Paul did laundry. We finished the night catching up to Weeds. Anyone watching this season of weeds? Paul and I have mixed feelings about it but last weeks episode was a winner, finally!

Hungry boy ready to eat! (mind you he had almost a whole bag of pretzels and cheese sticks before dinner, so by the time dinner came, he wasn't that hungry! so bad!)

Our delicious dinner! So rich and filling, but excited to try it again!

Thursday morning we got up early and got ready for the day. Before leaving the house Paul and I were able to video chat with my family. This was the first time he met everyone but my mom so while it was virtual, it was still great! Of course seeing my family via computer isn't the same, but thank goodness for technology. It was amazing seeing everyone. My brother always makes me laugh, and my whole family puts a huge smile on my face. Paul did just fine meeting everyone too and I am so excited to actually bring him to my parents house in Chicago so he can meet people in person!

From there we drove south to the Peninsula, where Paul grew up. He was suppose to have a water polo tournament but long story short, it didn't happen. He took me to his old High School, drove around town and took back roads to Redwood City, where his papa lives. We stopped by the first Starbucks he worked at, and wondered around for awhile. It was really beautiful. The trees were changing colors and it felt like a version of small town home. I was so excited that I was actually clapping in the car! It was a lovely start to the day. I forget what hometowns are like. It was amazing to hear stories of where he use to go, what he use to do and where he grew up! I can't wait to show him not only Chicago but Iowa, whew will that be an experience for him!

We made it to his dads house and there we helped his step mom and sister bake while we watched the end of the parade and then the dog show. And really by "helped" we sat and watched and nibbled on the goodies! Paul showed me around the house, showed me pictures and told me stories. It was lovely.

From there his sister, Paul and I loaded into my car and heading back towards SF (right outside SF) where we had Thanksgiving dinner with his papa's family. It was the first time I ever met his two aunts on that side of the family and a few of his cousins. It was a pleasant evening and we sat at the dinner table for hours. Dinner was great, and we pretty traditional, except we had rice! Never have I had rice at Thanksgiving :) Paul showed me around his Abuelita's (his dads mom) house where he lived for awhile with his papa and sister when his parents were divorced. The evening ended by 9 and that was good because we ate so much we were exhausted! We went home, slept it off and prepared for Thanksgiving #2.

On Friday we went to his Abuela and Abuelo (his mom's parents) house in Fremont (a little suburb south east of SF). Now this side of the family speaks primarily Spanish when they are together and are much louder and livelier than his dad's side, but it was a blast. His mom's side of the family is very loving towards me and I couldn't have appreciated it more. Music was playing, people were dancing, 20 conversations were going on at once, lots of eating and drinking, we brought the dog so he was running around like crazy, games were being played, it was just a great evening. The food was filling and full of fat in the best way possible. We had a great night. The evening ended with Cuban espresso and coffee (yes I had a double shot of Cuban espresso and a cup of Cuban Coffee and still was exhausted...the food was just that good!) I was able to talk to his Grandparents for awhile too when we were drinking our coffee and it was great to get to know them even better. Both of them don't speak English very often so they were giving me pointers on how to start learning how to speak Spanish. But never was there judgment that I don't speak their language, I think they just appreciated knowing that I want to learn, and I really do!

The family has welcomed me in with open arms and although Paul and I have come from 2 very different backgrounds it was so nice to feel at home even though my home is so far away.

So this Thanksgiving I am thankful for (this is a short list out of many many things I could say):

1. A family who loves me so much that I can honestly feel them with me even though I am 3,000 miles away. My family is the greatest and I am so lucky to have their love and support through everything I do.

2. A boy who I am very much in love with. Who treats me like a queen and would never have dreamed of letting me spending Thanksgiving alone so opened his family up to me. He spoils me and cares for me more than I ever thought I would want to be cared for and I am amazed by all he is. He is an unexpected treasure to say the least!

3. My dream job. Who would have thought a gypsy dancer would find a dance job that "pays the bills" and I love so much! I Can't believe I was able to find this job so quickly outside of college, but it is made for me and I love it! And to top it off, I work with some of my best friends in SF! How lucky am I?

4. A beautiful cat who brightens each and everyday. I love coming home to her and knowing that she loves me unconditionally! She is one of the most amazing creatures and I can't believe my mom bought her for me a on a random August afternoon in San Francisco, but wouldn't be the same without her!

5. I am truly and utterly thankful that in 2 weeks I will be on an airplane (with Gerti) to Chicago to see my best friends and family. Wow have I missed them all and I can't wait to give everyone a giant hug and I know I will cherish each and every moment I get with them. While I will miss Paul so much that its kinda hard to think about, I cannot wait to be back in the Midwest, to see snow (I hope) and to be with the people who know me best!


I failed to take pictures of our Thanksgiving...so bad of me, I know. Next year? And believe me, I am sure I will take plenty of photos come Christmas!!

It's begining to look a lot like Christmas

Welcome to my Christmas filled Room!

It has been a hard day today, well a hard week for that matter. This year marks the very first year of my whole 24 years that I have not been with my family for Thanksgiving. Now in our family the Christmas tree goes up the day after Thanksgiving and yes, I do believe that is the best day, but as tears filled my eyes today I realized that I needed the Christmas tree.


Now no tree could ever substitute my family, but it does make me feel a little better. Yesterday I received a Thanksgiving care package from my amazing mom which brightened my day and really started the whole need. The care package was filled with her amazing caramel corn, party mix, Christmas decor, Holiday book and a few other goodies. It brought tears to my eyes and the first bite of the caramel corn made me think of home.

I spent most of the day today looking for that cheap day before plane ticket to go home. I mean, wouldn't that have been great, but those $650+ tickets kept appearing and I continued to get more sad. So the only solution I came up with... decorate!

I am now sitting here with my holiday candles lite, the tree sparkling and White Christmas on the TV. It makes me so excited to be in Chicago for Christmas for two weeks, but until then, I will just imagine I am sitting with my family.


Luckily I don't have to be alone for Thanksgiving, wouldn't that be even worse! No, this year I have the chance to experience a whole new Thanksgiving, Cuban style. And actually, I will have 2 days of Thanksgiving. Paul's family has so graciously invited me to join them for their Holiday and not only do they celebrate very different than my very white midwest family, but its the first time in a very very very long time that I have shared a holiday with a special someone. Since his parents are divorced they go back and forth each year on who gets them on the actual day of Thanksgiving. This year Thanksgiving lands on his dad which is kind of a bummer. He is not as close to his dad and I am far from close to his dad as we haven't had much of a chance to get to know each other. Who knows, maybe this will be the chance to bond with his "papa" as he calls him. His mom's Thanksgiving on Friday though is going to be a blast I am sure, her last letter to me said it would be "a very non traditional meal with lots of loud music, dancing and family." His mom and I have had the chance to get to know each other a little more, and she even has been able to get to know my mom in SF and in Chicago. I am very thrilled to be spending time with her. Paul's sister is also very wonderful, she just turned 21 and is so great. According to Paul and his mom, Erika (his sister) is hard to impress/please and her and I get along wonderfully, therefore I have a good in there :)


Anyway, I just wanted to share my Christmas set up this year. I wish so badly I could be cuddling up with my family watching Christmas Vacation, eating lots of food and putting up our family Christmas Tree but I hope that this year is the only year I wont be spending with them.