Why its almost like being in love

Now I know that the California weather isn't quite like the good ol' mid-west and the four seasons seem to merge together a little more than the distinct changes back home, but after living here it is safe to say, we have entered fall like the rest of you back home.

Unfortunately for me, our palm tress don't change color and while leaves drop, most drop the same green color they were. But the air has a crispness to it and the smell of Fall. I love it. This weekend the rain started in though...which actually is the start to our winter...but the air still feels fall to me so I am not pushing winter quite yet! I love the way Fall makes me feel.

I love the desire to cuddle up, light candles and read a book (or in my case watch Monk almost all day!)

I love hot showers on cold rainy days

And I love the motivation I start to have for baking pumpkin treats, homemade soups and hot cranberry tea. And best part of that is sharing it with others!

This time of year makes me think of home more than any other time. The anticipation for the Holidays with my family, the new goals that will come with the new year just around the corner, the preparations for the perfect gifts and being with people I love.

At this point last year, my countdown to go home was much shorter as I was lucky enough to go home for Thanksgiving. As the years go on I had to expect that the privilege of going home 2 times in 2 months would leave, but the countdown still is on...less than TWO MONTHS and I will be with my family again for 2 weeks! I cannot wait.

Until I get to go home I get to look forward to:

• Making homemade Potato Soup (wont be as good as my moms or grandmas but Paul has never had potato soup so I look forward to sharing it with him)
• Making pumpkin pie
• Looking for new pumpkin treats to make (I am totally craving Pumpkin right now!)
  
• Making my list and shopping for Christmas gifts
  
• putting up my Christmas tree
• Watching Christmas Vacation..wont be the same without repeating it all with my family
  
• listening to Christmas music (that came out weeks ago!)
• AND sharing my first Thanksgiving with Paul and his family...a Latin Thanksgiving...wish me luck and I am nervous as can be.
  

I can't believe that November is just a week away! Clearly I am ready to pass over my least favorite holiday, Halloween and get into my favorite time of year! But really, where has 2010 gone?!

Friday Favorite

Thanks Sarah for the advice to do a weekly blog that I just always can do. I am sitting at work and randomly started thinking about some of my favorite things and decided to do a weekly "Friday Favorite" blog. Today's is easy as I am wishing I was doing it right now.

My favorite thing to do on a chilly rainy day.

I woke up this morning to the sound of rain dropping and cuddled up close to Paul (and by this morning I mean 5am as he had to get up for work...boo) and was so cozy warm next to Paul I didn't want him to leave, I was thinking, "this is perfect." But now sitting at work and cold from being wet and tired cause the rain is slowing me down I wish I could do my favorite thing on a rainy day...

If I wasn't a "grown up" with a real job, I would stay in my sweat pants (oversized and cozy of course) a big sweatshirt, cozy fuzy socks and my stalking hat (have to be warm!) I would have a hot coffee drink in hands, lite candles, and just watch movies in bed. I would order take out and just stay inside for the day. Of course in this perfect rainy day a LONG, HOT shower is in order too. I would be cuddled up with my kitty and my boyfriend and his dog and we would be lazy foolies all day listening to the rain and watching movie after movie. Knowing Paul and I too, I would be doing Sudoku through out the day and he would be working on his crossword puzzle helping each other out here and there.

Sounds like a good rainy day huh?

Go SF Giants!!

Not in a million years did I expect to get hooked on the SF Giants baseball team. I mean, really? I lived in Chicago with 2 baseball teams and I don't have a clue about either team, but move to SF and start dating a baseball fanatic and you too will become obsessed. The Giants are an interesting to team though, and they make it easy to get hooked. Unlike the Yankees, the Giants are not constant winners. They are kinda like a bi-polar baseball team. You have a great game one night and the next night you are making mistakes left and right. For instance, Sunday night we loss...big time, and I hate to say this but we loss for good reason, imagine a batter hitting a fly ball, then imagine 3 Giants player running to catch that fly ball, then imagine all 3 Giants standing in a triangle and the ball goes right in the middle with not one of them actually trying to catch the ball! yes, on nights like that, we deserve to lose. But then you take last nights game and it gets me so excited! I suppose this season is a good season to become a Giants fan since they are in the playoffs and if we win tonight, fingers crossed, we go on to the world series! Maybe they are doing so well because I became a fan ;)

AT&T Park- where the Giants play

Paul and his whole family are die hard fans. The bug was easy to catch since him nor his family miss a game. I suppose its their family bonding, maybe comparable to my family and theater? Paul is becoming pretty superstitious though. Now that the Giants are going so far and doing so well he is participating in the "Fear the Beard" challenge. His favorite player, Brian Wilson, is the closing pitcher. Wilson is pretty amazing, we have watched interviews with him and he is super corky and odd but hilarious and one of the most talented pitchers! He closes the game because his pitches are fast and furious and RARELY do men score off his throws, in fact it is a rare occasion when one even gets a hit. The ninth innings are usually pretty fast on our end because of him! "Fear the Beard" though is for Wilson. He has a crazy huge bread, which is dyed black and pretty ridiculous, like him, so those die hard Wilson fans are not shaving their beard till the Giants are done. Therefore, Paul is participating, boy is he participing, his beard is getting crazy thick (and itchy he claims) but he refuses to shave it, not even the "neck beard" that is growing, his exact words "if I shave at all they could lose, so neck and itchy beard are getting touched!"

I can't seem to find a good picture of Wilson's current beard but go to this link and you can see it: http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=5709384


If you want to get a sense of his strangeness, watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yf0j1rmZVbM

Wilson and Posey (Paul's favorite and My favorite)

Now my favorite player is #28 Buster Posey. My attraction to Posey may have started with the fact that his number is 28 but my love for him has expanded. He is one of the youngest players (23), an amazing catcher and one of the BEST batters on the team. He rarely disappoints and I appreciate the consistency of him. I mean the team fluctuates enough so knowing that Posey is pretty darn consistent I can relax every 8th batter and when he is behind the plate catching those balls!

Good ol' Buster hitting it out of the park :)

Cooking

So I might not have followed all my goals from what was it, September? But one thing Paul and I are both doing much better at is cooking. Well, really I should say Paul is an EXCELLENT cook and I am just as good of an eater and dish washer :) But on those few nights that Paul and I do our own thing (Tuesdays since he is playing in Pool League) I have been cooking scrumptious meals, that I end up taking to him the next day for lunch!

Thought I would share the two most recent ones!

First I made homemade Chicken Fried Rice. I went to the local produce market and picked up: Carrots, onions, corn, zucchini, green pepper, chives, garlic and broccoi (all organic) The beauty of California, I bought ALL of that for $6!! I cut it up and put it in a frying pan with olive oil, salt and pepper.

I steamed 1 cup of Indian Rice (just cause that's what I like) Take 20 minute and is so yummy... this would be better with day old rice, but I didn't have that so I just cooked some up and let it cool.

I also cut up 2 chicken breast and fried it in Olive Oil with Salt and pepper on the chicken. When the veggies are softer, I added 2 eggs and scrambled it up, put the chicken in and started adding some soy sauce.

I then added all the rice into the pan with the eggs, veggies and chicken and started frying it up. I smothered it with Soy Sauce and let it cook for less than 5 mins.


It was a HUGE meal and so delicious!

The next week I made a shrimp and veggie pasta (spicy) I failed to take pictures until it was made, but I can tell you what I did :)

I cut up onions and green peppers and started sauteing them in olive oil with lots of pepper on them.

I then took fresh shrimp and added them into the frying pan with a little butter (since lets face it while bad for you, butter is good!) I didn't want to over cook the shrimp so I turned the heat down and smothered the pan with hot sauce.

I cooked up angel hair pasta, drained it, put some olive oil on it with salt and pepper and then tossed the veggies and spicy shrimp in it.

I toasted a piece of garlic bread and I had a delicious spicy meal!


Again, I am not near the cook Paul is, but I am learning. The bad thing with Paul cooking all the time, I am falling in love with spicy food and can't seem to get enough of it. The past 6 months I have gone through way too much hot sauce!

For the most part, I am fine letting Paul do the cooking, but every once in a while I think I can do a pretty darn good job.

I made him a "midwest" meal the other night consisting of Grilled Steak, Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Corn on the cob, sauteed mushrooms and texas toast. We were too hungry to try to take a photo, but it was good. I couldn't believe I had never made it for him, and while it is far from a Cuban meal, I think he enjoyed it. I just can't wait to get him back home so he can have REAL steak and not this thin crap we call "steak" here!

Need Help

Okay, so this is clear, I am not good at writing on my blog daily when I don't have given topics. Really, my life just isn't that interesting....SO.... to my few followers I approach you for help, anything you want to know? Any topics you can throw my way?

I would LOVE to write more, but honestly, I just don't have many topics to write about. So please please please send me topics and I promise I will write about those topics! :)

Finding New Forms of Transportation

October started off a little rough for me. I always dread the first of the month since Rent is due and rent here is far from cheap I always hate seeing the dip in my bank account. Well October's dip ended up being far larger then I ever expected and the final sign that "its time!"

No need to get into the chunk of money that went into getting my car out of the tow lot, lets just say, I got my car back in my possession, paid rent and cried, a lot! But this unexpected expense opened my eyes to the reality that it really is time to sell my car!

Transportation is a funny thing. Growing up in small town Iowa, you kinda rely on cars to get you from point A to point B. Need to go to the store, need to get in the car; want to go to the movies, get in the car; friends house, you're gonna drive...you get the point. Before you even learn how to drive, the car is the most typical/logical way to get anywhere. As a kid I had a bike and rollerblades, but those were for fun. Not really transportation. We would bike around on a sunny summer day and really have no "point B" in mind. When I moved to Eldridge, I do remember walking a little more. I would walk to elementary school but even some days in there, I would have a ride. I started playing Tenor Sax in jr. high and clearly wouldn't dream of carrying that thing home, so of course would get a ride. And, as soon as I was a freshman I got my school drivers permit and DROVE to school. Now I have never calculated this before but according to Google Maps, my home was 0.6 miles from school. Not even a mile. Google claims i could walk there in 10 min and drive in 3 min. And yes, even though parking was a bitch and traffic leaving school at the end of the day was a headache, I drove those 0.6 miles every single day. Also, lets remember, I lived in a VERY SAFE neighborhood. Walking after dark, not an issue.

When I moved to Stevens-Point, WI, a car was in order. Another small midwest town that was a half hour/45 min drive to get anywhere (food, shopping etc). The car was also great for the 5.5 hour drive back home once a month, ah those were the days!

Chicago started changing my mind. I no longer NEEDED a car. In order to go home I someone had to come pick me up which was a bummer, but I didn't NEED the car in the city. I became accustomed to the "El" and buses. Not bad. Being a student there part of our tuition was a pass to the train and buses for unlimited rides all semester. I also lived less then a block away from food, groceries, coffee, and the Red, Orange and Green train lines. Easy! 8 months after living there though I "needed" my car to leave town so I rented a parking space for the month...one month turned into almost 3 years with my car. When I moved to a new apartment it came with a parking spot, so why would I ever get rid of it? I drove to friends house, the store (so I didn't have to carry groceries back of course) and really, everywhere. I was back to being one with the car. Shoot!

The move to SF brought on a lot of expenses so I thought "hmm if I sell my car I could get that money and then have a little more of a 'nest egg'" But then was informed by a teacher who lived in SF for over 20 years that if I have/use a car in Chicago I would be lost with out a car in SF. I listened and drove my car across the country to SF. And I am glad I did. I ended up living in East Bay (less than 10 miles from the city) but far enough that a car became a necessity once again. Everyday I sat in my car through morning and evening rush hour traffic (a good 3 hours a day, what a waste). I spent $10 a day to park it near work, I put over $30 of gas in it each week, it was depressing. All my hard work was going to this big material which I was so sick up.

I finally moved into the city in a PERFECT location. A few problems arose though: I don't have CA license Plates so therefore I can't get city parking tags, and I can't really afford to switch my plates to CA so I am stuck parking miles away from my house and moving it once a week.

This has been an interesting task the past 6 month. Where to park the car. I was parking it a mile away up this HUGE hill. I mean the hill is so steep that I would seriously have to take breaks while walking up it. That got old, fast! So then I figured out the Mission distract, while not the cleanest or really safest (just a lot of bums and drug addicts roaming the streets...I am never in danger) areas, i was there a lot since Paul lives in the Mission and all of my dance rehearsals, yoga and pilates are there as well! Flat streets are my kind of streets! Great, I found parking, but that is all I do, park! I move my car 1 to 2 times a week to a new parking spot because of street cleaning. Usually in those days we take Paul's laundry to my place to do (I have a washer and dryer and he doesn't) and then I go back to parking it. This is unsafe and a sure way to get broken into, towed or even stolen...

While I have LOVED my little Lancer, its been good to me, the stress and expense of it is just too much these days. The .6 miles I could have walked to school back in the day seem like nothing as I recently calculated that I, on average walk 10 miles a day these days. And really, I love it! So the car is now on the market. I have a few people who are potentially interested (friends actually) Which would be great because if by chance I would need it, I am sure I could borrow the good ol Lancer for a spin around the block or a shopping spree at Target (no Target in the city...must drive 30 min outside...wah wah!).

Now I have played the walking game for about 6 months and it has not been bad to me. But the busier I get the more I realize that I need an addition solution. So now I am on a mission, find a bike. Did you know that GOOD street bike can cost $1,000- $2,000!! No joke! I about had a heart attack when starting research. So I am reaching out to ya'all for advice. I have had some really great advice from JoHo's brother who knows a lot about bikes, but this purchase is going to be a big deal I think. I would like to not spend more than $500 if at all possible, and even that will have to come AFTER the car is sold even though I want it NOW! :) But in a city that bike rule, I am ready to join in and become that "biker chick!" ;) Cheap (in the long run), easy, good work out and much quicker than walking! I can't wait to truly feel like a San Franciscan! Any advice on good road bikes (for a reasonable price) send my way!

A Successful Evening

A few post back, I think it was the "what have you learned..." post I mention my conversation with my friend Mo about Paul and me and how I have been chicken to fully involve him in my dance life. It is a scary thing for me, opening myself up completely. Dance is so close to me, while I don't want to be DEFINED by dance, it is so much of who I am that sometimes it becomes challenging to separate. Involving my significant other in my dance world, to me, means there is no turning back. I haven't honestly done such a thing since I have fully chosen this path in life. I haven't invited a boyfriend into the crazy dance world, nor have I wanted to. Maybe I am just greedy and selfish but it is MY world, so involving a boyfriend in it, I thought, took it away from being MINE.

Well, a couple of weeks ago, Paul called me out on my lack of involving him. It was after we both had kind of an off week and while we weren't fighting we weren't as lovey dovey as normal nor did we really want to talk much to each other (don't worry it was just a few off days). I told him of an event happening in SF that Sat night that he might be interested in and he responded along the terms of, "oh we have seen it before, lets do something else." I quickly had to inform him that I actually already had plans for Saturday night as our intern at DG had his first professional show and gave me a ticket to it. Paul's response shocked me and also made me realize how invested we really are in each others lives. He basically informed me that if we are going to continue dating, I need to start involving him in my dance/professional life more often and that he WANTS to be apart of it. My heart melt.

While I was still nervous and I am pretty sure I asked about 50 times if he "was SURE" he wanted to come he over and over again reassured me that he did, and boy did he fit in. Paul shocked me like he has never shocked me before. I had apologized after the show because I felt like I really needed to stay and talk to those I knew and he told me to "go, do your thing." I kinda assumed that it meant "go and I will go out and have a cigarette and meet you outside," OR "go, I will wait for you over on this wall." Now I know he is cute and charming and melts peoples hearts pretty quickly (and easily) but he was so much more than that. He was invested. While I went to mingle, so did he. Unlike some who shy away from approaching conversation, he jumped right in. He didn't need me to introduce him, he didn't need me to lead him, he just went and chit chatted with dancers he had never met before. He went up to Eric (the choreographer) and even offered him feedback (PS this was maybe his 3rd modern dance show ever), he mingled with all the dancers, and never once did he come across bored or uninterested. It was perfect, better then I could have ever imagined.

After the show my co-worker, Kegan, Paul and I went to a near by bar to play some pool and hang out. Kegan asked Paul what he thought and rather than saying "it was good," or "fine" or whatever lame response one may give after seeing something unfamiliar, Paul tried to be insightful. He said what he liked and didn't like, and ended saying that he is excited for more.

Wow.

That is really all I can say. I was blown away by his support and enthusiasm to the whole evening and I am truly honored to have him in my life. I realize now that I had nothing, absolutely nothing to be afraid of!

Homecooking

Paul and I must be an old couple. How many mid 20 year olds do you know who would rather spend a quite Friday inside together vs going out on the town? This past Friday we both felt so tired and like we needed to just be together but without the crowds so Paul came over and we made a big delicious dinner together. Paul had never seen lasagna being made so I made a homemade lasagna (homemade sauce went in it by the way!) and he made a Cuban Salad!

We were both so hungry by the time it was done that the pictures aren't very great but it was amazing so I quickly took a few snap shots that I thought I would share :)

Lasagna before it went into the oven!

My very hungry boy!

Cuban Salad

Cuban Salad 2

Eating our salad while the lasagna sat for a few minutes

Finished Lasagna Yumm!

Had to have Garlic bread with it!

You can see the steam rising from it! It was delicious and once we were done we ended up falling asleep before we could even put a movie in!! We may be like an old couple, but we sure did have a nice quiet evening home. And honestly being in the kitchen is one of my favorite things to do with Paul!

Day 30- Your favorite song

I have too many songs that I love- from Musical Theater to Pop- I will write one thing and then wish I wrote something else but the first thing that came to my mind and the song that is my ring tone and a go to make me feel better song would have to be...

Don't Stop Believing - Journey

Kinda embarrassing, I know, Paul makes fun of me because its such a "white" song. But I will not deny that I love Love LOVE the song!

Again I have so many songs I love, but the top of my head right here, right now I will go with that!

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

I have been thinking about this one a lot actually. I wish that the saying "you learn something new everyday" truly applied to me and that I had a list of 30 things to share with you...but not sure I am there...But I will ramble off plenty of random things for you.

1. I am the strongest I have ever been (I can lift men above my head, with their help with a jump of course) and I shouldn't be afraid about my once broken ribs.

2. I like baseball way more than I ever thought I would

3. Mad Men is one brilliant TV show!

4. I miss choreographing & performing MY work

5. I love spending a quite evening at home making a big delicious dinner with my boyfriend. It is way better than going out to eat in my book.

6. I have little patients for those who create drama and stress for themselves and then complain about it.

7. I miss my friends and family from the midwest (I always know this but I have been reminded just how much this past month)

8. I have an itch to look into grad schools (even though I don't plan to attend for awhile still)

9. I really do love writing

10. A good friend in SF recently reminded me not to lose myself in my work, boyfriend, dance, and volunteering. Not really something I "learned" but an amazing reminder. She reminded me how easy it is to get trapped in other people's worlds (especially talking about Paul since we are both so different) but the friendly reminder to stay true to myself was great to hear and while I don't think I lost myself, it also pushed me to also remind Paul to be involved with my interests too, not just me being involved in his. This is a much longer lesson, but I think I often fear welcoming others into my crazy artist life and so I adapt to theirs. An artist gets rejected enough, getting rejected from people we really care about it hard. This is not to say that Paul would reject my passion, my work, my life, but I have found its been nice to not have him as involved in it but now may be the time to not throw him in full force but to encourage him to enter in more often. If I don't open that part of me up to him, how will he ever truly know me completely right?

day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?

September 2009

August 2010

I tried to take 2 pictures that were as close as a year apart as possible. Besides my long hair being buzzed off (and now growing back out), and broken ribs not being broken anymore, not too much has changed. When I broke my ribs I gained some weight but I am back down to a smaller size then I was before I broke my ribs and stronger than I have ever been! I buzzed my hair off in Dec and then again in May which was one of the most liberating things. To have barley any hair is so amazing. I didn't realize how much time I would spend each day on trying to "fix" my wavy/curly hair and to really not have any was so freeing (I HIGHLY recommend all women try it! Free yourself from your hair!) umm..I moved to a great apartment. I have Finally allowed myself to commit to a relationship. And I am still a work-aholoic! I think the thing that has changed the most over the past year though is my sense of time. I never use to take time. I always wanted to go, go go, push hard and never rest. Recently I realized how unhealthy that was for me and through the year I have really started to allow myself to relax, to enjoy a social life and to not work myself into the ground. While my rib injury at the time was one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with, this past year has been a year full of learning, growth, and improvement. I feel stronger, healthier and happier then I thought was possible. The negative of the year, I miss home. I love living in California but moments like last night when I had to spend $420 for a plane ticket home for Christmas, kinda killed me. The astronomical cost to go see my loved ones breaks my heart and I so badly crave weekends home with the folks, and the longer I'm away, the more I miss them and desire them to be near. Who knows when I'll end back in Chicago, I am sure someday, but until then I just have to be thankful for all the technology I have at my fingertips to keep me in close contact with everyone and be grateful for the ongoing love and support they give me!

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

I started a blog at the beginning of 2010 in hopes to reconnect/stay connected with loved ones from back home (and I was also fighting insomnia so what better way to kill time at 3am?!). I told people about it at first but then I failed to continue writing on it so I am pretty sure all 4 or 5 people who were actually checking it got tired of the months going by with no word from me. Paul told me that it take 24 days in a row of doing the same thing to form a habit, so a 30 day challenge seems perfect right?

Recently a friend of mine created a blog and I suddenly was inspired to start writing on mine again. I realized how much I enjoyed reading her updates as we don't get to talk much anymore and thought maybe, just maybe she would feel the same about my updates. A few weeks after I started catching up on her life, she started this challenge and it fully inspired me to do it as well. While we may be 3,000 miles apart, at least we could enjoy each others daily topics and maybe the few others who randomly read the blog would as well.

Writing is also something so therapeutic to me and I just don't do it enough. writing in a journal use to be my thing and while I don't think i would use this blog to journal about everything this challenge has defiantly inspired me to continue writing. Now I doubt I will make it back here everyday (my life isn't that exciting) but I defiantly plan to stay more on top of this thing and hope to stay connected with old friends through it!

Thanks Sarah for the inspiration!

day 26- what do you think about your friends

Haha what an odd topic, but I am not feeling creative to change it, so I suppose I will write about my friends. Not that I don't love them all, but that should be a given if they are my friends right? So I guess I will give some details! :)

I use to always want to be surrounded by people so I was "friends" with everyone. Through the years things have changed but have realized who my real friends are and while I may not have an abundance, I believe I have the best friends anyone could ask for.

My Iowa friends...oh I miss them. There are a few good friends from HS that I don't get to talk to you often, but think about all the time. There were 6 of us girls who were super close in HS (A, Sarah, Lindsey, Alli and Steph- and me) We had girls nights even when we were in college. They are wonderful. I can't believe how time has past though and by next year 3 will be married! Lindz is in Africa, A has a great job and is buying her own place (wow!) and I am off living in California. We don't talk much and I unfortunately couldn't make it home for Sarah's wedding but as much as we all change and time passes, I know that these ladies will always have a special place in my heart. They knew everything about me at one point and were always super supportive. They often remind me that they think about me and are proud of me, and though times have changed, I am sure the 6 of us could meet up and have the time of our lives once again!


(Here are a few pictures from the past...but most are on discs/hard drive and I didn't want to pull them off...but these make me smile!)

A and I- what we do best...DANCE! 2004 We have been dancing together since 1988!

in Chicago before I moved 2008

Sarah and me...2003 maybe? LP car wash!

Ali, Sarah, A and me 2003 is my guess

Graduation day 2004

Our last sleep over before we went to College 2004

Chicago Besties. When in college I developed 4 very different relationships that are still so very special to me. First there is Marky. Oh Marky Mark and I met in 2005 when a new dance major friend asked if she could bring her friend from HS over for a pasta dinner/So you think you can dance night. WHEW he was a lot to handle and if you asked me that night if he would be one of my closest friends, I would have laughed. But 5 years later (we just had our 5 yr anniversary last month) I would be lost and hopeless without him! He is my sunshine. Marky knows EVERYTHING about me. We try to talk daily (sometimes a few times a day when we are lucky) even if its just for a brief "I love you" Marky supports me so much and loves me with all of his heart.

The night before I moved to Cali 2008

Thanksgiving 2009

May 2010

Coley is another wonderful human. She is so caring and loving and really teaches me to be patient and understanding. Not only that but Coley makes me laugh so much! She cracks me up. We use to do weekly dinner dates at Ma&i and they even knew our order by heart! My favorite time to talk to Coley is when she is shopping or driving because her random outburst put such a smile on my face. Coley is so good at reminding me that she cares.

2008?

Election night 2008

Beans- oh ALLLLYYY!!!- This girl is HILARIOUS! It is seriously impossible NOT to laugh when with her! Beans and I became super close my last year in Chicago. I am not sure even how it happened but one minute I didn't know her and the next minute I would be lost without her. The girl is talented beyond belief and is a true fighter. A daredevil for sure! She doesn't give up and I totally respect her for that. She reminds me to keep pushing and not lose hope. She also reminds me of what a true friend is. Whenever I am feeling down and homesick I could check out a video or look at photos with Beans and I feel so much better. PS this is just an example of how awesome Beans is. Everyone in our "click" had nicknames but her and so when signing a gift to me for my senior concert they decided to mark her as "Beans" since she loves eating her beans. who would have thought that 2 years later thats all I call her!

Performance Spring 2008

JoHo- now JoHo is a special case. JoHo is a Chicago and Cali friend and thank goodness for that. While we don't live uber close (6.5 hours away) knowing she is in the same state is comforting! JoHo and I are another random match up of friends. We danced in a piece together and overnight we became super close. I even moved into the same condo building a few months later. JoHo was always my go to girl. We went shopping together, watched tv (sex and the city!), ate together, got pedicures, and just hung out! We were never high maintenance friends. The simple act of being in the same room together is enough to entertain. I am super lucky because I get to see her once a month when I go to LA for rehearsals. I stay with her and her amazing husband and while I am in rehearsals most of the time we stay up late gossiping, whispering and giggling!

San Francisco 2009

Driving the day before her wedding day

Wedding day 2009! This was right after the ceremony and we were both a hot mess of tears!

SF 2010

Cali buds: I have made some good friends here in Cali. Lots of dance buddies but the really good friends are between Mo, kegan and Paul. Paul is quickly turning into one of my best friends. I know that sometimes it can be hard to tell a boyfriend how you are feeling in fear that they wont understand but Paul and I can not only read each other, we can tell each other anything and we understand. He is really is not only a great boyfriend but an amazing friend. He for sure makes me laugh all the time, we give each other a hard time, debate well together and always support. We are night and day, summer and winter, ying and yang but its so perfect for both of us.

Date Night on a random Friday

Last dinner with my momma and Godmother in August 2010

Fourth of July

Mo is fantastic. She and I were interns at DG the same time and we were each others support while applying for jobs at DG. We go to Yoga together, she teaches me pilates, we have coffee dates often, we talk boys, life, family and work together. We send each other daily emails (at work) to vent when we need to, gossip if there is some or just keep motivating one another. She is my rock at work and for when I need a really great girlfriend to sit over a hot coffee with and just chat.

Summer 2009

in Wine country 2009

Kegan is my gay husband here in SF. He grounds me. Reminds me when to say no and when to keep pushing. He helps me focus on my goal without killing myself. We can so easily have a good laugh together or a good cry. We are neighbors, co-wos and good friends. He is very big brother and such a safety net. If I were to fall, Kegan would go out of his way to catch me.

Disney Land 2009

In a nut shell, I am a lucky girl. I love my friends with all my heart. I wish I could see them more, talk often and live close to them all, I hope they all know they all hold very special places in my heart!

day 25- what I would find in your bag

Oh my bag... I don’t carry a purse, too small, I carry a big ol bag! I'd take a picture, but I am at work and figure that would create attention that I am blogging and not working, so you just have to visualize :)

Front pocket:
Ipod
Office keys
House/Car Keys
Gum
Chap stick
Lip gloss

Middle Pocket:
Contact case
Deodorant
Powder
Hair spray
Bobby pins
Glasses
Phone charger
Face cleansing cloths

Big Pocket:
Calendar
Notebook with pen
Book
Wallet
Water bottle
Snack (right now its mustard pretzels & a little bag of slat and ground pepper chips)
And usually a change of clothes (dance to pedestrian or vis versa)

Then my Cell phone goes in the the little cell phone pocket on the strap.

day 24- A day in the life of

So I am the first and only person at work right now, realized that I forgot (once again) to write yesterday so I thought I would give a little run down on a day of my life here in California! (PS it is 11am on Friday and let me repeat, I am the ONLY one at work right now!)

I am not a morning person so my first alarm goes off at 7:45 and continues to go off until 8:30 when I FINALLY force myself to open my eyes.

From 8:30-8:45 I play with Gerti. She is always laying right next to me so I pet her and give her some lovin.

I shower and get ready and leave the house at 9:30am.

From 9:30-9:50 I walk down Market street (its kinda like the Michigan Ave in Chicago...runs through the whole city) I always walk 1.5 blocks PAST work to go to Starbucks. (PS I pass about 5 Starbucks and a good 20 coffee shops on my 20 min walk but I must go see Paul!)

I stand in line and make eyes at Paul, get crap from his bosses, chit chat, get my drink and I am off to work by 10am.

I get to the office no later than 10:10am (most days) although Tuesdays we cut all of this and I am in the studio for rehearsal by 9:45am and in the office at 2:30pm.

At work I check messages first thing, then email and then make a To Do list. I actually make a To Do List at the beginning of each week but I revise each morning. Once everyone strolls in (usually by noon) we do check ins and I continue working. At my job I do Print Calendar (events for the month) and advertising for our monthly publication called In Dance, and then I do online calendar, website updates, and outreach. I am starting to work on a new project called "Emerging Leaders" and I will be lecturing at local colleges and universities and then we will be picking 2 "Emerging Leaders" from each school for a 6 month program we will run at Dancers' Group to help college seniors prepare for a career in dance. I am really excited about it. I do membership when Jorge isn't in, and help Kegan with our Programs (2nd sundays, ONSITE, Dance Discourse Project etc)I would say I wear many hats at Dancers' Group. I am one of the only ones (besides Kegan) who is cross trained in every job (besides bookkeeping and only 1/2 of Fiscal Sponsorship). While sometimes it can get stressful I love being able to help in each "department!" If you are interested check out our website, dancersgroup.org. If you go to http://www.dancersgroup.org/programs_onsite.php you will find the ONSITE page. I designed this page and all the sub pages for it! I am really proud of it and love that I know how to design and edit html.

anyway back to my day... I usually eat lunch around 2 and take a break from staring at my computer.

I try to leave work by 5:30 and 2-3 times a week I walk the 15 min to the Mission to yoga to the People to take an hour and fifteen min yoga class. After yoga I will either head home or go meet up with Paul.

At night I tend to do work for Ledges and Bones Dance Project. Paul and I will cook at least once a week and do laundry. If the Giants are playing then we go watch the game at a bar (neither of us get any tv stations) and when its not freezing we will sit in the back yard with music and just chit chat. Sometimes he will continue work on his crossword puzzle and I will play sudoku. When home you can usually find Gerti on my lap sleeping. Oh and Paul and I are SUPER into Mad Men right now. We are finally on Season 3, almost caught up! It is so amazing. We also get our fill of Weeds, and I watch Project Runway, Top Chef and Lie to me.

Lights are out around midnight if Paul has to work at 6am or if its just me they are out by 2am.

Yep, that is about it! An average day of mine, I saved you from reading when rehearsals are crazy and things are non-stop. This day of explanation is minus the cra cra part!

day 23- something you crave for a lot

This one is easy!

I crave (often):
1.Coffee/espresso
2.Ice Cream
3.Mexican food
4 Hamburger and French Fries

If I had to pick a number one craving it would be Coffee drinks (I LOVE them!) but really all are cravings I have often (and fill often!)

day 22- what makes you different from everyone else

I take pride in the fact that I am different. I rarely am a follower in life and while it actually can be challenging to not follow the tides of what society refers to as "normal" or "acceptable" I really enjoy being unique. Growing up in a small town in the Midwest was wonderful and I wouldn't trade it for anything but I think that there was always a difference with me then others in the town. I wanted to escape, run away- no, but I wanted to travel, to explore, to leave and become myself. Small town living makes it so easy for one to become "so and so's daughter, granddaughter, sibling etc" While I love the people in my life I didn't want to hear "oh your Shellee's Daughter" as much as I wanted to be known for me, as me, for things that I have accomplished. I think escaping the route that could have been given to me would have been fine, but I think I am different for being young and accomplished and not because I know someone but because I worked my way up to get to where I am. Its also funny living in such a culturally diverse city like SF really actually makes me super different here. My upbringing in a very white community in the midwest makes me super different here. AND my accent defiantly makes me stand out! :)

its funny too, I am so different in simple things like what I wear. A perfect example, when I was in LA over the weekend, we as a group couldn't go to a handful of clubs to go dancing because I wasn't wearing the proper dress code. seriously! Two of the things that couldn't be worn were 1.white t-shirts and 2. flip flops well guess what I had to wear that night? A mens white t-shirt, roll up jeans, and flip flops! Everyone I was out with were in skin tight clothes, high heals and looking ready to go out...I SO don't fit that and while some may feel out of sorts by being the "black sheep," I kinda enjoy it.

Now this is not to say that I don't follow some trends, and by no means do I go out of my way to purposely march to the beat of my own drum, but I am not afraid to say what I feel, respond honestly (even if I am all alone on my opinions) and be 100% true to myself.

day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy

Who would have thought, I mean really, that the thing that makes me so happy is a cat?! I use to HATE cats. I was so allergic to them that I could not even be in a house that had a cat. The cat could be in a totally different room, they could vacuum and clean but I would still be super super sick from them. But now I own a cat and she makes me so incredibly happy.

The thing that always annoyed me with cats is that they are loners. I love dogs because they NEED you and they let you know that. I always thought cats though were obnoxious because they were so self efficient and just did their own thing. I was incredibly lucky though because I have a cat dog, she needs me just like a dog needs its owner.

I am sure I have shared this story before but the brief story is that I met Gerti (at the time her name was Tudy, which was very fitting since she was a stinky smelly kitty and farted all the time!) at the animal outreach at the Ferry Building Farmers Market one Saturday in Aug when my mom was in town visiting. I love animals so even though there were no dogs, just cats I wanted to go over and give some attention to them. There was a really tiny kitty sitting up in the same cage as Gerti. Gerti had her back to me and was sleeping so I was trying to get the tiny kitties attention. She wasn't really too interested though so I moved on. As soon as I walked away Gerti turned around and started meowing. She put her paw up to the cage door and was so clearly wanting me to come back. As soon as I came back she started purring like nothing I had ever heard. The woman so graciously took Gerti out of the cage. I couldn't hold her but they let me pet her and she was giving me kisses and so sweet. I fell in love. So that afternoon I went to the shelter and bought her.

I had never owned a cat and didn't have the first clue on how to take care of a cat, but my mom bought her for me and I brought her home. A month and a half after getting her I got crazy injured and really struggled with it. The only thing, honestly that helped brighten my days and make me feel better was Gerti. Talking about her puts a smile on my face. I get so excited to go home because I know as soon as I open the door she will be there to greet me and say hello! She Cuddles with me every night, is super playful, gives me kisses and makes each day that much better. I love her so much. She is the best gift I have ever received, seriously! I honestly think she saved me from going into depression when I couldn't dance because I broke my ribs. She is so much a part of me I couldn't imagine life without her.

6 months old- Dec 2009 This is one of my favorite pictures of her, I call it her Model shot!

I honestly woke up one morning and we were cuddling like this!

Helping make some dinner :) Aug 2010

Most recent picture of her and me together!
Aug 2010- she is 1 year 3 months in this picture

Playing "peak a boo" and getting kisses on the nose (her specialty)

day 20- someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future

I don't think this is a good topic for me. I have always been kinda the disbeliever of marriage. Not that its not right for some and not that I will never get married, but its not a dream to be married. With all the issues with Prop 8 and seeing my good friends being denied marriage because they are gay just angers me and why should I be able to get married when people I love so much are told no. I know its a silly fight, but I don't really think I should get married if everyone isn't able to. (and yes, I know some states have changed, GO IOWA, but its not nation wide and the fight is on going) Its funny, a lot of my friends here and in the midwest want to get married, have thought about marriage and fantasized about their wedding day, or are married. I am so happy for all of them, but I on the other hand have barley been able to wrap my mind around being in a relationship! Dating in general has always given me the fear that it will take away from my art, my career and well, me! I think I am too selfish for it, I like me and me time and I like to do what I want.

With that said, yes I am actually in a relationship right now. I like it. I've met his family, he has met some of mine and we are going strong. It's funny we are such opposites that he has actually admitted to fantasizing about his wedding day and here I am with really no thoughts of "the big day."

I suppose if I were to characterize a future husband (or Partner as I think I would prefer to say) he would maintain some of these qualities:
-Smart
-Passionate
-Unique
-the ability to make me laugh
-caring
-understanding of my art and passionate about his own future
-has goals
- Family oriented (not with kids in mind at this point, but family like is close to his parents, grandparents, siblings etc)

umm yeah, that seems about right. I am sure there are plenty more (cause I am needy!) But that seems like a good start!

who knows where the future will take me, but I am willing to go on the ride. Marriage? who's to say, I do know it is not for me in the near future, I like being in my 20's with no major plan but to dance my way through! I will follow where the passion is though.

day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them

I know I know I am behind, again! I was in LA this weekend for rehearsals and there was just no time, and I was so so tired last night and sore that I couldn't even get my computer out. I can't believe I am typing right now to be honest, I am sore down to the finger tips! Anyway on to the subject!


I don't have a ton of nicknames here in SF, but I have family and past nicknames that I will share!

"Stinky" my mom has called me stinky since I can remember. I love it!

"Shae Shae" my whole family has called me this for forever. And I love it because Paul started calling me this without even knowing that is my family nickname!

"Shazie" I don't get called this near as much but always did in High school

"Shae Bay Bay" my college friends call me this, I love it.