Relaxing Summer Days coming to an end

Well, maybe the busy I get the more active I will be on here? Who knows...

My few month break is quickly coming to a close and the dance companies are picking back up. I have to admit that the break was nice and I really needed it. I am looking forward though for 3 new seasons to start up in the next few weeks (and to get some extra cash again!).

It's crazy, I had in my mind that I wasn't going to be performing at all the next year or so except for my own solo work, but the past week as proven differently. I am still understudying/ training with Ledges and Bones until my injury is so far in the past that I forget about it (okay that may be extreme, but we are taking this year to fully train me back to health and not chance re-breaking my ribs!) I am excited about the work that this company is producing and feel honored to be associated with them, but it is a lot of work for no performance pay off. Its not pay that keeps me dancing, if it was, then I wouldn't be dancing, but its the performing. So working really hard for no end performance results is hard to swallow, but the training I am gaining is really so amazing that I have to keep reminding myself it is all worth it.

HNDC (Here Now Dance Collective) took a long break. I wasn't sure if I was going to be invited back for another season since I hadn't heard from the Director of it, but it just turns out that she has needed a break to figure out personal things and we are going to be starting back up come August. I am excited for this next turn of events with HNDC because it no longer will be a theater base dance company but a site specific dance company focusing on work in and around the Bay area. We have a photographer and Videographer on board as well to help document it all and maybe make a dance for film out of it. Her next work is based off the subject "apologies." I think its a topic that many can relate to and I am excited about starting it up.

DHPco was a big iffy question mark for me. David is the director of the company and a good friend of mine. He features me in all of his work and really respects my opinion on the work as well. Unfortunatly, I had a not great experience with some of the other company members which made me question my place with the company and if it was a right match for me. Over the past week though when I thought I was resigning, I learned that none of the other dancers were planning on returning and that David's next work was a theater base dance featuring a couple (me being the female lead). A good friend reminded me to give 2nd chances and what is the worse that can happen? I don't want to regret not trying and doing theater based dance really excites me so I am going to resign and see what happens. (and hope for the best).

Now since I wasn't planning to dance/perform this fall with others I committed to working on some solo work. How exciting to be asked to perform my own work! So Aug 12-13 I will be premiering the first draft of my new solo, working title "Love Thee, Not" (Not sure I love the title yet). I am excited for this chance to explore more solo work of theatre/ dance. It will be the 3rd solo in SF I will have presented but the first one that isn't associated to another dance company...just me! It will be about 12 min I think, maybe 1o? I have about 1/2 done thus far and this will for sure just be a first draft. The great part of it all is that my mom gets to see it as she will be here visiting!! yay!

I am continuing yoga and pilates training. I am seriously looking into getting certified in Yoga. I love it so much and would love to teach it. The problem is, I don't have $2,500 to do so. Looking to find scholarship/ work trade for it...but that requires more time than I have right now. So here is hoping to next summer finding money, time and the right program.

This month I have been taking Erika Chong Shuch's Sketch it up workshop as well. There are 16 or so of us creating 4 hours a week new work, showing it once or twice and moving on. This workshop is full of dancers, playwrights, directors, poets, clowns etc. Its been great to be with so many talented artist in the city, not just dancers but Theater people, writers etc. I have found it to be inspiring and I hope that I can continue work for Erika as she is really a brilliant director in this city.

Oh on an off Dance topic. A few weeks ago we celebrated Paul's 25th Birthday! It was a crazy fun weekend and it took a week to recover from it, but so great. I met about 18 of his family members at dinner which was so scary, but turned out to be amazing (even though I don't speak an ounce of Spanish!) Both his Grandma's have invited me over for dinner and him mom and him and I went out to a movie last week! It nice to be close to his family since mine is so far away. They are very large and loud compared to my tiny family. Don't get me wrong, my family, well my brother mom and I can get loud, but 3 people being loud compared to 18 is a different kind of loud! I was scared, but as Paul had let me know over and over again, I had nothing to be worried about. I got him Giants vs Dodger tickets for his bday so Friday we are off to cheer on the SF Giants in the 2nd row! yay!

Some pictures of his Bday:

Everyone singing Happy birthday to Paul

Later that night once he officially turned 25!

He got his hands on my camera, me once he turned 25, clearly I didn't have the same reaction!

The only picture I got of us on his 25th bday (4 days of celebrating and this is all...losing my camera touch) And this picture is not great representation of us! Oh well! It is what it is :)

okay, I have stalled finishing up household chores long enough, must go finish before my company arrives!

4th of July in San Francisco

So I use to love 4th of July because its when I would spend time with my mom. When I was in Chicago, I would drive home to Iowa, mom and I would go get KFC and we would go watch Bettendorf fireworks. We didn't do much for the 4th when I was in HS, but once I left home, it quickly became our holiday. Brad would be working, Sean wasn't at home and so Mom and I would celebrate together. The Bettendorf firework show was always so good.

Its not like mom and I never had quality time together, but this was always one of my favorite mom and me times to have. We just would sit and talk, and laugh. Usually we would drive home in the convertible, top down of course, and get Whiteys on our way (duh). No matter what Mom and I are doing, we always have a great time, but the 4th always reminds me of my mom and the past few years, reminds me of how much I miss her.

Last year I attempted to go see the SF firework show at the pier. I mean, a big city, on the water, fireworks should be awesome right? WRONG they were so bad. Lame to say the least. So this year I didn't really care to fight the crowds of locals and mostly tourist to see a crappy/cheap show.

On Saturday I get a text that Paul wasn't going to work, so we had the whole weekend to spend together (a rare thing to happen). I had to stop at the office first, but then realized I forgot my keys on my desk so couldn't get in... so the work I had to do, couldn't be done. I had my car so I drove to him, picked him up and we went to get brunch. Usually we eat in the Mission District since there is every kind of food you could want, and he lives in that neighborhood, and I am always there dancing (I dance just a few blocks from where he lives). But since I had the good ol' Lancer (my car) we decided to venture out to a place we wouldn't go without the car. We hit up a little restaurant/ cafe in Potero Hill. Off the beaten path and totally a "local neighborhood" joint. We had a delicious breakfast and it was so nice to not have a time limit or place to be.

I had my last pilates class for a few weeks scheduled for that afternoon. My friend Mo gives me free privates and she left town Sat night for 10 days, so I am without pilates, I had to go. I left Paul around 1:45 to take my class. He was going to clean his room during that time I was gone...At 3:30 when I was finished, i called and there was no answer...The lazy bum took a long nap while I was working out! Can't blame him though, those 5 and 6 am shifts are bound to catch up with you and on a HOT San Francisco day after a big, delicious, and filling, breakfast, a nap was in order. I borrowed Mo's keys, went to the office to get mine and did a run to Goodwill to drop off a few things that were in my car and when that was said and done, my phone rang.

Paul, indeed took a long and deserved nap. I drove back over to him though, Kinda helped him clean his room, watched a little TV and by 5 we were both ready to eat some more food! We walked down the block to a BBQ place and both got a big old bbq sandwich. Delicious. Full once again we wondered back to his place to just hang out in the back yard. Sounds boring, but far from. We play music, play with the dog and just chill. Sometimes much needed. I took my friend Mo to the airport that night so left him to hang with his brother and friend for the night.

Paul enjoying himself, I really like this picture of him laughing

The next day (4th of July) we started our morning early with walking the dog, getting coffee and splitting a bagel. Paul has a huge back yard and balcony off his room. So we sat out on the balcony soaking in the sun drinking our coffee. Paul got out a notebook from two years ago and read me some of his writings. He is a really talented writer. Its great because he reads to me, its not very often you get to hear stories read how the author intended for them to be heard, I love it.

We worked out, sat in the sun and didn't shower...may not be looking camera ready, but look I don't look like a total ghost next to him I got some sun!!

Staring contest....the key to winning: tickle him!

It was early still so we decided to do a quick workout before his friend arrived. So we put some tunes on and did this pretty quick but intense workout right in his room. Once his friend arrived we walked to the store to get things to BBQ. Meat here in SF is very expensive, but produce is amazing. We went to a little market by Paul's house to get things for my guacamole (5 avocados, tomato, jalapenos, cilantro,2 limes, onion, garlic), 3 corn on the cobs, and 9 rolls, and it totaled $5.15. How cheap and amazing is that?!

Some of the food on the table

The grill round 1, we had 2 rounds and it ALL was eaten!

We walked back to Pauls and let the BBQ begin. I made the gauc while the boys got the grill fired. We sat and chatted, read the news paper, played tetras, and started to eat like crazy. It was so hot and sunny and we were all loving it. I even got a little tan...seriously! The boys showed me some cool tricks to light matches, I was loving it, pyro I know, but it was great.

Trying to do the tricks that they were teaching me. My thumb is slightly burnt from the attempts, and the tricks aren't even that cool, but I feel cool doing them!

Games were played, food was consumed all day, we had some drinks, and sun, and music. It was a great 4th. People in the neighborhood shot off fireworks and we enjoyed watching those but it was nice to not fight crowds but just to be with a few friends. Paul and I wore sweats all day, didn't even shower, so it was truly a lazy but so enjoyable Sunday/4th of the July. Not quite the same as my wonderful 4ths with mi madre, but if I couldn't be with her, it was the next best thing.

Another cute picture of Paulie

We were both pretty grungy by the end of the day, but happy non the less, maybe not so photogenic since we are both pretty greasy, but oh well! :)

Pictures!

It has been awhile since I have put new pictures up. I plan to take picture of my new place...but yes, after a month I still haven't..so these will have to due :)

They aren't in any particular order because, well I don't feel like really arranging them, so here you go!

Marky and me, my last night in Chicago for awhile...

Mom and me after my last show in Chicago on Tour

My Three best friends in Chicago- I feel this picture defines them each in their own way :)

My Chicago Lovers!

Marky Mark and me

My Chicago people!

Beans, Coley and me

My parents and me

The ladies of David Herrera Performance Company with David, after our show in Chicago

Paul and my Sunday afternoon...
Long story short, Paul (and his friend) had a little mishap on Saturday night, and we spent the first part of Sunday cleaning up the paint that just so happened to be spilled all over the concrete. I didn't so much HELP as much as I took picture of him cleaning...It was really funny actually.

Getting ready to tackle the puddle of paint

Half way done...look at those messy hands

Creating designer jeans while cleaning the paint :)

This is the moment that he spilled primer on his shoes, and I pointed it out for him...Captain obvious here!

What a stud!

Look at how clean that sidewalk is!

So much better!

Paul and me before he showered and we spent the best Sunday together

Gerti made a new friend the other day. I must have made a good dinner, Paul and Gerti were knocked out before 10, but she was a happy kitty cuddling up next to Paul.


Well, thats it for now... Just a few pictures for you to enjoy!

Daydreaming

Well, again, I am just not so good at keeping up with this thing. There always seems to be excuses though. I mean, the last time I went MIA is because I was so busy, so stressed, so tired, so frustrated that I just couldn't find time to sit and write.

This time, I am proud to announce my MIA is for a much different reason. Besides my week tour to Chicago with The David Herrera Performance Company, this girl has found herself head over heals in romance land. A moment to lift your jaw up from the floor...

Brace yourself, this could be a longer post....

There is such a buzz around first dates, something that I tend to forget about being that I don’t tend to date much. And my history has proven that most people I date, are people who start off as friends and then go into a relationship. The idea of a first date is so scary to me, usually, but 3 or 4 weeks ago all I could do was wish I could skip past my Thursday so I can go on my first date with “C.S.B” (aka: cute starbucks boy AKA Paul).

Paul is the star Starbucks employee who is always working and always puts a smile on my face. When I was commuting in to the city everyday I was so cranky from sitting in the car I would need to go go to Starbucks just to decompress for a few min before having to go and sit at work all day. Well this was almost everyday starting in January and after a few weeks this unnamed (at the time I didn’t know his name) guy told me once that “I have the prettiest smile he has ever seen and that it brightens his day when I come in” I was flattered, of course, but didn’t really think much of it from there.

BUT, as the months have progressed I learned that "CSB"’s name is Paul. He knew my name, as they write our names on our cup, but he one day asked me how to spell it and then I asked what his name is and from there we are on first name bases :) (although outside of seeing him I would refer to him as CSB!)

So as months progressed I developed a little tiny itsy bitsy crush on this cute boy who makes me my drink in the morning, but he is working and has to be friendly right? so this little crush is all in my head and I figured it wouldn’t extend past the secret crush. Of course I told all my co-workers about the crush and they all kept telling me to give him my number, but I am chicken, so that never happened. Our conversations at Starbucks though went from saying “hi” to starting to learn about each other. He is in school, but didn’t really expand on what he was studying, I told him I was a dancer and worked at Dancers’ Group but didn’t go much further than that...but I enjoyed my morning flirts, that’s for sure!

When I left LA after my 10 day venture I came back DETERMINED to give "CSB" my phone number. I failed though and just didn’t have the game to do so. A few weeks went by and I kind of started to just lose faith that our flirty flirty relationship would never extend past the walls of Starbucks until a month or so ago...

I walked in to Starbucks on Thursday (ps once I moved to the city I started going to Starbucks less because my mornings weren’t stressful and so I just stopped in once or twice a week just so I could see the Cute Boy). But I walked in one Thursday and there Paul was working at the register (he usually is at the bar making the drinks) and with a line of people behind me he finally asked me to hang out outside of the walls of Starbucks. He was very cute in the process of asking me, picture a long line out of the store and this very cute shy guy looking down asking me if “well, maybe... I mean if you are interested...maybe hanging out, ya know outside of starbucks” :) I said “yeah for sure” and he immediately looked up happy and said “really?! Okay well..” and I proceeded to give him my number. He quickly gave me a pen and a piece of paper and with a line of morning coffee drinkers waiting impatiently, I wrote my number and handed it to him. I was so nervous, I tried to make the number super clear, but for all ya'all who know my handwriting, it was a challenge (especially with a big sharpe!) He told me he would “defiantly call me so we could have a conversation that last longer than 45 seconds” I walked to the end of the bar to wait for my drink and Paul’s fellow employees gave him props (while I was still in the store!).

That was Thursday... Morning...

Friday I went into Starbucks (even though I know he doesn’t normally work on Fridays) but thought I would maybe see. Boy oh boy did the Starbucks staff give me some grief! I walked in and they were like “oh its Paul’s girl! Sorry Shae Paul isn’t here today!” ... There was a lot of talk and I turned bright red...but it was fine...but Friday came and went...and no phone call...

Saturday I was swamped with a 5 hour rehearsal that lead to a performance that night. After the show (which went So-So) I went home and to hang out with my roommate and his friend Chris (we played Rock band till 3am, it was pretty awesome). But, I told them about CSB and how I gave him my number and I haven’t gotten a phone call or text from him yet... Steve, my awesome roommate said that he will call Sunday, he guaranteed it.

But Sunday came...I had a show...and Sunday went...and no phone call...

I was getting a little frustrated, sad, disappointed and starting to just get over it.

Monday I made my own coffee drink the morning and went to work, staring at my phone and continued to have no phone call...

Then came Tuesday, the day where I went in to Starbucks to face CSB and find out why in the world 5 days have gone by and I have not heard from him... I took a deep breath, opened the door and as soon as I walked him there Paul comes right up to me! “you” he says, “you” I say back. He asked if I gave him the wrong phone number because he “called an embarrassing amount of times on Sunday” (my roommate is so good) and it wouldn’t go through. I looked at his phone (there my name and number was) and it was correct. I have no idea why but my phone did not respond to him calling me. SO I then and there took his number, called his phone and it wouldn’t ring. So I tried it again and FINALLY it rang.

That night, 5 days later, he called! 8pm turned to 1:30am before I even knew it, and I could not believe it. A running fantasy I had with this cute boy was that he was a writer. Ya know, works at Starbucks in the morning, goes home and writes. I don't know why...Maybe because the idea of him being an artist who is good with his words, who gets it, but isn't a dancer, or actor, but defiantly an artist seems too good to be true, but amazing. Someone who is passionate, understands the sacrifices you have to make to do what you love. But I don't know anyone who considers themselves a writer, I mean I know people who write, but not people who just want to write books/short stories for a living. So what would the chances be that this fantasy I had of my cute coffee boy was actually a writer? The other thing to know, is that I have dreamed since I can remember that I would meet that perfect guy at a coffee shop. For all who know me, you know I have an obsession with coffee and coffee shops so it only makes sense to meet my dream guy at a coffee shop, right? Well, Paul is 2 for 2. I met him at a coffee shop, and it must be meant to be, he is a writer. No joke. He is in the processes of writing a novel and he writes short stories! I am on cloud 9.

Two days later, after our amazing 4+ hour conversation we had yet another 4 hour phone call. We live 15 min walk away from each other, but our first date wasn't planned till Friday, so our phone calls did. I learned so much in that week about this dream boy. He is Latino, Spanish was his first language, will be 25 in July (He is a cancer sign for those who care!), from the Bay Area, hard worker, has a dog (but is a cat person, and I have a cat but a dog person...who would have thought?)

Friday couldn't have come soon enough, but once it came I couldn't wait. We met at the park, had wine, and just continued talking. Went to get dinner, I met his dog, it was perfect first date. I think what made it so perfect was that it didn't even feel like a first date, it felt so natural, so comfortable, as if I have known him my whole life.

Saturday we both had to work, and Sunday I was leaving for Chicago for a week, but once we were done with work on Saturday I decided to stop by and see him for just an hour or so before his sister came to drop off a tv and go to dinner with him. To my surprise though, he invited me to have dinner with his sister and him and I couldn't believe it. How many guys do you know that have you meet their sister after only 1 date? I couldn't say no though and I am glad I didn't. His sister was hilarious, I really enjoyed her. I stayed with him as long as I could before I had to rush home, pack and head to the airport at 430am.

A new romance, and I had to leave for a week, are you kidding? But every night we talked, and continued to get to know each other.

I flew back to SF on Memorial Day, went home, unpacked, and as soon as Paul got done with work I met him. Seeing him made me realize how much I really did miss him and how lucky I feel right now to have him in my life. Seriously, this guy is a keeper.

This past week has been so great, being back with him after being gone for a week. We have gone out to eat, eaten at home, gone on walks with the dog, played Wii (bowling of course...I am ugh, letting him win right now...I will win soon!), watched pointless TV, sat outside in his backyard just talking, and get this...he even has come to YOGA with me, and wants to come back!! Probably not 2-3 times a week like I go, but he wants to come back! I think its amazing. I totally enjoyed sharing my love for yoga with him.

Last night he came to pick me up wearing a button up shirt, tie and fedora, looking super good... just for me...and seriously, he looked good! :) He makes me feel as if I am the most special person in the whole world and when I am around, he acts as if nothing else matters.

I, for once in my life, have no interest in trying to predict where this will go. I don't ever have to guess what he is thinking or feeling since he is so open and honest I know right where we are at so I don't ever need to question this. In fact, there are no questions, All that seems to matter right now, is that I can't seem to remove this smile from my face and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Well, there is my novel about my new romance! I suppose I need to take a picture of us one of these days, and will post it. Haven't gotten to that point yet, but I promise, I will soon.

I'll post Chicago picture soon.

My Baby turns 1!

Daydreaming again, she love staring out the window

So my little girl turned 1 today. I can't believe it! I have had her for 9 months that seems bizarre in itself! I tried to do something for her, but its hard to do something special for a kitty, no wait, a cat (wow I don't think I will be able to switch from saying Kitty to Cat) but what do you do for a kitty that has way to many toys, doesn't like human food and the only treats she likes I already feed her everyday. So I gave her some salmon wet food (which I only give her once a week usually) and bought new treats, which she wont eat, wah wahh!

So I guess Gerti is not an animal that is easy to party with... I wish...but I guess holding her and kissing her over and over will do, although I think she is getting annoyed with that as well!

But I just wanted to share with everyone's Gerti's big first birthday... I think I will help celebrate by making myself some salmon for dinner tonight.

My Little love bug and me :)

This one goes out to my mom!

Lunch break in LA

So Last week I received this email while I was at work:

Hi Baby,

Just thought I would write and tell you that your blog is getting a little boring!!! Note to self: People who are uber busy should not start blogs!! ; )

I LOVE YOU!!!!

Mom

I cracked up laughing reading this email and preceded to read it to my co-workers, who then informed me that my mother is hilarious, and also has a point. That day I kept telling myself, “I must write on my blog tonight!” I walked home (yep I walk to work now! Yippie!) thinking about what I would write about had all these great ideas, but of course as soon as I walked in the door I started playing with the cat and dog, made some dinner, did some unpacking and 4 days later, still haven’t written on the blog. Then my mother brought it up on the phone informing me that my blog is STILL boring…well no one wants to be boring (mom!) so here you go, this one goes out to you! Xo

Yes, it has been about 2 months since my last post and those 2 months were full, stressful, fulfilling, frustrating and so much more. I keep telling myself that once the month I am in is over, things will slow down… May was suppose to be the month that things started to slow down, but 10 days in and I haven’t touched the brakes yet, not even tapped. Why am I not surprised?

There seems to have been too much that has gone on for me to really give a full rundown of events, but the big things that have happened:

Performance for HNDC at ODC Theater
Performance for LABDP in Santa Monica at Highways Performance space
Taxes
Apartment Searched
Apartment Searched some more
Packed up my Oakland Apt (I had 4 days from the time I got back from my tour to LA)
MOVED to SF!
Trained/ training in Yoga and Pilates (besides rehearsals, dance classes, performance, and more rehearsals)
May Issue of In Dance (our biggest issue of the year at work…so much work went into that, for those of you who read In Dance, I did all the ads and the Summer Workshop Guide!)
…

Okay, so that list doesn’t seem to be that long or crazy, but being in it felt like a whirlwind. A big change for me in the past 2 months is that I had to put others aside and really focus on me. Don’t get me wrong, I still did for others, but for the first time in a long time my focus was more on me and what I needed. I stopped focusing on others for a little while and let me tell you, focusing on yourself is hard. I became tired of myself and all my stress, I enjoy life a lot more when I can deal with other peoples bull shit vs my own. On the flip side though, the past 2 months have taught me a lot about how to monitor how much energy goes to others and how much goes to me. I think that at age 24 I still struggle with finding me time. I use to love living by myself because that would be my time, my space etc. But since moving to California I have quickly realized the impossible task of living by yourself in this city, its just too gosh darn expensive. So my house is no longer just mine, I have to worry about keeping it clean and presentable for not just me but my roommates, my animal and myself. And, when I lived by myself, I wasn’t working 50 million jobs trying to keep my head above the water, so it was easy to take some time to just relax.

My little day dream believe looking out our 5th story view for a last few moments before we moved

On May 1st, I hired movers who packed up a truck in Oakland, sat in 45 min worth of bridge traffic over the Bay and then unpacked my truck in San Francisco. (These movers were amazing and really relived stress) I moved into a cute little apartment on Henry St in San Francisco in a neighborhood called Dobose Triangle. It is on the edge of the Castro, which is were all my amazing Gay boys are ! You know Harvey Milk and the movie Milk (Gay rights activist in the 70’s and ran for office)? It all took place around my neighborhood, in fact I live just blocks for the Harvey Milk Center!

I moved in with 2 men, Steve and Frank. Steve is a straight man in his 30s who works for a video game company testing and producing video games. He has a dog named Millie, who I love, drives a motorcycle and he is about 80% covered in amazing tattoos, he was on Season 1 episode 5 of LA Inked if you care to see him (he got his old cat, Buddy, tattooed on his leg!) Steve has lived in SF for about 16 years and has lived in our apartment for 12 years. Steve and I get along super well. He has taken me for motercycle rides, out for sushi and tonight i made dinner and we sat in the kitchen eating and talking. I really am enjoying his company and living in such a respectful environment. Frank is the other roommate. He is a Gay man in his early 40’s I’d say and is from Puerto Rico. He works at the Science of Arts Academy as an IT guy in the Lab. He doesn’t really ever leave his room so I really only have sightings of him, but he is very friendly and loves the animals. I really lucked out with good roommates, that s for sure. The funny thing is that their craigslist ad said “someone 26 or older, and no other animals” I decided to write anyway explaining that I surround myself with older people and I have the best kitty in the whole world, so I would love the chance to meet them etc. They wrote back right away saying anyone who is that confident to ignore our request seems like someone we should meet, I meet them and on the spot they asked me to move in! I accepted the next day.

Millie is our dog who loves to cuddle up on my chair. I LOVE this dog!

I have a decent size room (that is still stuffed full) but I love it. I walk to work, I walk to rehearsal, to dance, to the store etc. The worst part of it all is parking my gosh darn car. Because I haven’t spent the hundreds of dollars to get CA license plates, I can’t get resident tags, which means that I can’t park by my house because if I don’t have tags its 2 hour parking zones. Therefore I have to park about a mile away by a park that has not hour limit to park, just Weekly Street cleaning. A mile a way is a piece of cake, no problem, but then you have to ad the fact of SF land into the picture and that’s where it kills me, I have to walk a mile UPHILL to get to my car, not just a little hill but a big hill, so steep that the sidewalks are actually steps because its too much of an angle to get up without the steps! No one can tell me that I don’t exercise after climbing that hill multiple times a week.

See those houses down below, I live down there, I am half way up the hill to my car in the picture... the hill is so steep you can't even see it...I lose breath just thinking about that walk! :)

I’m currently in preparation for a tour to Chicago! My last tour for a few months at least! It will be nice to not have to travel so much, that’s for sure. It has been amazing having shows in multiple cities, but its hard being away from work and lets face it, I hate leaving Gerti behind! David Herrera Performance Company sets off to Chicago on May 23rd (well 3 of us do) with the rest of the company following on the 25th. We will be performing “A slice of Americana” at Links Hall in Chicago May 27-30. It is just an excerpt/ preview of what we will premier in San Francisco Fall 2010. Along with us will be RAW Dance, another SF company performing a duet and 2 solos. I am very excited to be back to my city performing! It’s a nice vaca to see the family, friends and dance!

My ribs are healing for sure. I am training intensely in pilates and yoga along with dancing. I feel like I am coming back stronger and smarter. I will be participating in Ledges and Bones Summer Workshops in LA and SF as well and will really get my butt in shape. Holly, the artistic director seems to be really dedicated in my healing process and getting me back to full performance capability! I feel like 2011 will be my year! I want to be healthy and strong and performing to the best of my capability.

Well, there is more to be said I am sure, but I guess I should save something for all my future blogs :) Don't want to get boring or anything! Thanks Mom for pointing out that I fail at blogs, and thanks for being patient as I get my life back together. For all you Chicagoans, I will see you in 2 weeks! yippie!

Pictures of my apartment coming soon! promise!

xo

What I do for Love

Yes I know, I am the odd ball in my field who can find a musical theatre song to basically go with any mood/ emotion I am in....and so often I find myself repeating "Wont forget, wont REGRET what I did for love"

As my training process becomes more and more intense, I develop more and more evidence that I am back...well trying to be back from my awful injury.

I wish I could say "no one says dance is easy," but ya know I spent a majority of college having people question getting a degree in dance. "so what, all you do is just dance all day?" people would ask. But people don't understand the mind and body focus it takes to do what dancers do. It is not like we just can go work and go home and rest. Since dance doesn't make a lot of money we all have to work many jobs on top of the grueling amount of training. Basically, if you don't love it, then you are stupid for choosing the life of a dancer, because it is far from an easy job.

With that said, I am in the midst of remembering why I love it. Now, I don't love the beat up body, but I love feeling my body. I love the feeling of all the very specific muscles I use, feeling stronger each and every day, and embodying how I feel. With that though, I exit the space all beat up, have a hard time walking stairs, who am I kidding, walking in general and feeling tired. But what can I say, I can't imagine life any other way.

Over the weekend I pushed hard to continue training in LA with Ledges and Bones on top of learning some new material with the company (the woman's trio). Its kind of a test to see where my strength, stamina, power and ability are. Let me tell you though, while I keep getting stronger, I am not where I want to be. So even though I was SO sore and tired, I got up Monday morning (after just getting back the evening before from my long LA weekend) and went to a private pilates class before work, then went to a rehearsal. Now, today I was VERY sore but felt the need to continue the push through so while I couldn't really move at a fast pace, I finished my day with an intense Power Yoga class. Tomorrow though, I am treating myself to a well deserved and massage! I can't wait!

Anyway, this post was really meant to share the bruises I got over the weekend while training and rehearsing. It's hard though b/c pictures don't really give the bruises justice, but totally worth sharing anyway! The worst of this, I was wearing knee pads and still managed to get these!

I took this picture this morning...This happened on Sat and it keeps getting worse!

I am not sure where this trail of bruises came from...but even with a knee pad, I got these!

Same leg on the actually knee!

A shin bruise (I landed on my foot...smart huh?)

Again, pictures don't really do justice, but my feet are all scabbed and bruised too!

Whoever says Dance is easy....doesn't do what I do! :) Not easy, body is a little sensitive, but its totally worth it!

Oreo Cookies: Chocolate or not?

After 12 or 14 years or something like that... (we can say 13- meet in the middle) I still do not eat (or like) chocolate, more specifically coco. Yes, I realize being female this is for sure a strange concept to understand, but being the baby in the office, and one of my many odd traits, this creates many debates and conversations.

Don't get me wrong, I highly enjoy a good debate, and so does Kegan (one of my co-workers) so lets just say its not an uncommon occurrence to have a debate about chocolate, or food on a weekly (if not daily) bases.

Today's debate: Are Oreos Chocolate?

Now I think this is a no brainer, I mean come on, you type in "What are Oreos" in google and the FIRST thing to pop up is: "oreo - chocolate cookie with white cream filling"....thank you google...CHOCOLATE! But while I feel that is case and point, no one else seems to agree with me. SO I further the search, Ingredients in oreos, and it states that both coco and chocolate are in oreos. Again, how much more right could I be?! BUT, while posing the question to facebook, other co-workers, random people that evening outside of the office, yes I took this outside of work because I feel so strongly that I am right, and I would say 8 out of 10 responses when I ask if oreos are chocolate I get, "no they are oreos" so I further asking what they taste like and I get the response "oreos."

I lose at many debates in the office when it comes to food (people in my office are gross, they will eat anything) but I will NOT lose this battle.

Please someone agree with me!!

"They Are Always Present"

A few weeks ago I had a great conversation with my co-worker, Vangie. Vangie is our bookkeeper who comes into Dancers' Group once or twice a week. It is always a joy to have her come in. She is a great listener and has some really great advice for this young-in in the dance field (she is a littler older so has had much more experience in life than me!). While talking about my injury (my broken and fractured ribs) Vangie said something that hasn't left my head. She said....

"Life is full of Opportunities and Limitations...They are always present."

I have been struggling with wanting to dance again and deep down inside knowing that I am not quite ready for it. While not dancing for 4 months I was getting so unhappy. I didn't realize how much dance fuels me, fills me with life and keeps my spirits high. But, it does. I was feeling unhappy, depressed, aggravated over everything and just unmotivated. After 4 months (the doctor told me 3-6 months before I can start moving again) I thought I was ready to be back at it. The truth of the matter is though, that broken ribs take up to a year before they really heal. A whole year...I knew that I could never stop dancing for a whole year so after 4 months, I was ready to move again. (so I thought).

Once I started dancing again, I felt like the sun finally came out and my life was starting to be fulfilling again. I understand that seems over dramatic, but honestly, I wasn't myself for those 4 months and I was so thankful to be back. But, what I wasn't being honest about, was if I was ready to be moving again. Movement was hard, energy was low, stamina...well I didn't have any... basically I was pushing very very hard, and while I was so happy I was very weak.

I kept pushing in rehearsals thinking that I would be fine. But then a few weeks ago the LA company was in town and things started to take perspective. Why was I pushing so hard? Why was I willing to take very dangerous risks? This is when I spoke to Vangie and she let me know that everything going on is my life is an opportunity but my injury is my limitation. She let me know that its not about choices, its just worth recognizing that they are present.

Vangie's words of wisdom added a whole new perspective. This all occurred during my "hell week" so I was even more in-tune with my body and my capabilities. Holly (LA choreographer) taught company class that week and we spent many hours discovering my weaknesses and where I needed to grow. I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it wasn't going to be easy to get there.

While I spent the week prepping my body for upcoming intense training, I had no idea how sever my desire to heal properly was until the closing night of the LA show in SF. Less than an hour before the LA show went on the stage, one of our male dancers did a movement from the show and ended on the ground rolling to the front of the room with tears in his eyes. We don't know exactly what he did, but what we did know was that he was not able to perform. I think I cried not because he couldn't perform but because I realized...that could be me.

Within 12 hours I made a change in my life. I contacted one of my choreographers and I re-evaluated my goals. While I was so happy to be dancing again, I didn't realize how foolish I had been. Rehearsing but not training was not smart and I had to change. I didn't want to be preparing for shows and at last minute not be able to go on because I was pushing too hard.

Therefore, I may not be performing much after March and while that sucks, I am so excited about the strength, knowledge and ability I am going to gain. Another one of my co-workers, Mo, is in the process of getting trained to teach Pilates so we now have weekly pilates dates, I am taking yoga 2-3 times a week, and technique 2-3 times a week (on top of the rehearsals that I am still going to.) After 2 weeks, my jeans are loser, my ribs are tender and muscles are sore, but I feel so rejuvenated and excited. AND, I will have abs!!

I hate not performing, but not performing for 6 months vs not being able to perform in 6 years (or less) hit me. I want to perform for a long long time, therefore now is the time to heal, rebuild and come back better than before.

This injury has really changed my life. I mean, who would have thought that the misery of broken ribs would ever be a positive thing, but at this point, it is. It reminded me that a dancer can't be a dancer if she(he) doesn't train and take care of oneself. While I may be missing out on some really great experiences, I can't wait till Aug (my goal of being back in business!).

The great and very honoring part of this, is that all my choreographers are willing to wait for me. They want me to heal properly and they want to work with me, therefore, this injury is not putting me out of the picture. I couldn't be any luckier to still be present in all the companies, even though I can't perform. I have a place in all the seasons when I am ready and I am so fortunate.

If this would have happened to me 5 years ago, I don't think I would be dancing today. I am so thankful that at age 23 I was able to have this injury, learn and be ready to come back stronger. Watch out rock solid body! :)

So anyone who is feeling like choices are having to be made and you are feeling conflicted. Remember that its not about choices as much as recognizing that:

"Life is full of opportunities and limitations...they are always present."

Therefore, stop thinking that you have to make a choice but rather accept the challenge and make the best of it.

6 Month Anniversary

Well In the midst of my crazy week last week, I forgot to mention a very very very special day...

Gerti and I celebrated our 6 month anniversary of being mama and kitty. No one can say that I am scared of commitment now huh?! :)

While my 6 month anniversary may not be with the man of my dreams, it is with the pet of my dreams and I couldn't be any happier with the spur of the moment rescue of Gertrude McFuzz Colett (aka: Gerti McStinky Butt).

How did Gerti and I meet you ask? So some may know the stories, but others don't. And since I love the story, I'll tell it again. (Please also be kind to any spelling errors as I do have a Gerti laying on me right now sleeping, and she does make it somewhat challenging to type!) Anyway, it was a Beautiful, warm and sunny day in San Francisco, the day of Hit and Run Hula (Dancers' Group's ONSITE) my mom and godmother were in town, and we had a full day planned. We meet up with Hit and Run Hula to start the day and then verged on our own to explore the AMAZING Ferry Building Farmers Market. While wondering around all the arts and crafts, we cam across the SF Animal Shelter who had cages ontop of cages of Kitties. Now of course I had to go over and say "hello" to them. (With no other intention mind you)

They were all so cute!! Probably 9 or 12 cages with multiple cats in them. The top left corner had 2 little tiny gray kitties who were so cute. One of them had their back to us and was a little bigger than her cage mat so of course I tried to get the little tiny kitty's attention and while doing so the kitty who's back was to us quickly jumped up and showed interest. I walked away to say hello to others, and before you knew it you just heard meows coming from the top left cage. I quickly walked back over and this little kitty (the bigger of the two...who had her back to us to start) had her paw on the cage and started purring like crazy. She was my match! The Animal Shelter rep took her out the cage and held her (I wasn't allowed too just in case she ran away) and as soon as I started petting her her purrs got louder and faster. It was crazy. I found my Kitty mate.

Now, I feel in love with this kitty within minutes and yet, I never thought in a million years I would get to take her home. While standing there, staring at her and falling deeper and deeper in love, my mom (being the most amazing mom ever) said "Do you want her? If Krystal (my roommate) is okay with it, then I will get her for you." I was in shock. Who would have thought a. that I would ever want a cat and b. that MY MOM would ever suggest getting me a cat! So I got her information, so I could go to the shelter later that day and pick her up if I wanted her. Her name on the paper: Tudy (the name made complete sense once I brought her home...whew that kitty had BAD gas!) and she was just 3 months and in need of a very loving home.

SO , I texted Krystal saying "I fell in love with a kitty, and my mom said she would get her for me, how do you feel about living with a kitty?" Now, Krystal has a dog that at the time was still in Michigan living with her parents. The dog was going to be in CA in less than a month and I didn't know how the two creatures would do and if Krystal would like having a cat. But to my surprise she said "Sure, Gabby (her dog) loves cats so get her!" OMG! I couldn't believe this. While we were waiting in line to take the SF Cable Car (trolley) to Fishermans Warf we decided that I was going to go get a kitty that day.

mom and I waiting to get on a cabel car...after we decided to go get Gerti!

I couldn't get her out of my head, I couldn't wait to hold her for the first time and play with her for real. So I rushed our afternoon and totally guessed how to drive to the shelter (seriously, never been to the shelter and I drove there with no directions...in SF I never can do that!) It was meant to be.

Once in the shelter I asked to see "Tudy" and gave them her number. They couldn't find her and I was almost heart broken thinking that someone else got this loving kitty. BUT, thankfully they found her. They took me up to her. Since she was in a cage all day for outreach they had her in a little room with her little friend (the smaller one of the two). "Tudy" quickly came running to me and started playing. I wanted to cry I was so happy to have her in my life. Over dramatic, maybe, but seriously nothing compares to finding your pet mate.

We went downstairs, I filled out paper work, and went through the interview. While finalizing everything, they then tell me that she has not been eating, had worms, fleas, stomach issues and just had been really sick. After reading a huge list of all of her issues they say "do you still want her?" I could see the fear of medical bills in my mom's face, but I couldn't let her be sick any longer...she needed to come home with me.

The whole ride home we started thinking of names. To be honest I don't even remember half of them. We were trying to come up with characters I had played in musicals and staying away from names that I could actually name a kid (if I ever chose to have a kid) We got home and we put her in the bathroom, like the shelter told me (keep them in confine spaces until they get comfortable. We then hit up wal-mart to buy everything you need when you have a kitty. I had NOTHING! We got home and I couldn't wait to sit and play with her.

The shelter was wrong with this kitty, keeping her in the bathroom was not needed. She was ready to play, cuddle and love. We got toys out and started playing!

Gerti Exploring her new home

My new Love! (She was so small...not that small anymore!)

Showing off her moves within hours of us bringing her home!

That night I put her back in the bathroom to sleep, by 6 am she was in my bed sleeping on top of me and not wanting to be separated from me.

Since then, we have been inseparable. She greets me everynight when I walk in the door, every morning when my alarm goes off she is right next to my face saying hello (no joke she says hello in meowing!) She cuddles when we go to sleep, she plays, she talks, she loves, and she brightens everyday of my life. I miss her when I don't see her, and I can't get enough cuddle time.



She was with me when I broke my ribs, she gives me strength when I am sick, she never leaves my side. She sits in the bathroom on the toilet when I get ready for work in the morning, she lets me know when she is cranky, and she kisses my nose to tell me that she loves me multiple times a day.

Kisses!

My mom saved my rough fall by getting me a true love. This angel of a cat has really made the past 6 months more wonderful than I could ever imagine. To those of you who don't have a pet, but feel like you need a companion, please go to your local Animal shelter and meet you petmate, they are out there! Soul mate ...I don't know if I believe in that...petmate though I believe in fully!

She loves TV

Our Christmas photo in SF

She is not so tiny anymore!

They day of our 6 month anniversary

*I have so many more pictures...but lets not get too crazy cat lady...Im sure Ill post them all someday! :)